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Unjust Penalty - Determining an End

 

 

Now listen all, who hear so well
About the tale we have to tell
One oft' ignored and tossed aside
Yet vital for all who abide

Death is a subject most of us fear
What lays beyond isn't quite clear
Criminals sentenced to end their life
Fill some with hope, others with strife

Those helpless, or who have been framed
Are confined to this fatal game
A terminal - where there's no way out
To explain or to clear a doubt

How many innocent have lost their all
Set up or mistaken, they took the fall
If time was given, they might be saved
Instead to this fate, they are enslaved

Sacrificed, when some are unaware
Whether or not the judge is fair
Who'll choose based on power or race
Or if wealth would takes his place

Meant to steer people away from crime
Yet that doesn't happen most of the time
It seems a life spent in a cell
Is to them, far worse than hell

With death, there's no chance to reform
No room to attempt to conform
To reverse all that has been done
So in the end - no one has won

It's not our place to judge man's fate
Leave that to God - He'll set the date
Those who are wrong, we can't deny
But it's not fair to let them die.

 

 

 

Author notes

The Amazing Race - Detour
Task Chosen - Strong

"In Strong, Your task is to write a rant, convincing me of your strong emotional feelings toward an issue. Make this really strong and convincing. Inspire me to change my opinions or feelings if I felt a certain way before. Your poem must be 25 lines or more."

Written by: Julie & Chandni

In a list

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • DarkRomantic113
    April 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    So much unfairness in the world. I'm glad to see you try to be.


  • elemental angel
    September 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully written
    Bravo


  • tawk gold member
    August 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hood-Winked!

    Meant to steer people away from crime
    Yet that doesn't happen most of the time
    It seems a life spent in a cell
    Is to them, far worse than hell

    Such powerful words. I too think that they should have to live their lives in a cell confined, let them think about what they have done to another. Yes God is the only one who can set these peoples fate. Excellent write

    You have just been Hood-Winked courtesy of the Poetic Bandits

    • Never Fall in Love
      August 11, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for yet another one of your comments

      however, your favourite lines ... I can't take credit for them .. they are trista's


  • sheltered
    July 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Good job and good topic. I happen to agree. Besides, death is the easy way out for some.


  • Dark Whispers
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow,If that wasn't my opinion already it sure would have convinced me,great flow as always, you and trist did a great job


  • Ryno
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    You are now traveling 93m/hr

    I thought this was an excellent rant. I thought the frist stanza was very well written and introduced us to the topic in a very unique but empowering way, along with the final stanza that was striking, meaningful and bold.

    I just feel somewheres along the line through the middle my attention slipped away no matter how many times it was read over... I feel it lost a little bit of its "intensity" you know? That was where the big chunk of your score fell off.

    Other then that, beuatiful but strong images and destiny's descriptions. Wonderful flow and rhymes. You too make an excellent team. Thanks.


  • kooleyes
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This get two thumbs up wow. This is very much full emotions if i was to beleave in the death sentence you would of changed my mind. thanks for the read and keep on writing


  • Rakerman1
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    outstanding

    It's not at all easy to write about a social woe and keep it interesting. It's even harder to write about it and keep up an excellent flow and rhyme. You both did a masterful job here and my hat is off to you.


    Talent at its best

    Exceptional writing
    Roses
    Raker


  • Tangled Angle
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Brilliant job here, good flow, and strong message to scoiety. Loved it. Best of luck in the contest.

1 - 11 of 11