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The Band Played On

Missing image

 

 

As he walked through the old park gate

the sky was cold and grey,

his boots they crunched on the gravel,

he knew each step of the way.

 

A lifetime of happy memories

were here within the park,

whether it be a warm sunny day

or by gas light, after dark.

 

He always sat on the same wooden bench

beneath the willow so tall,

to listen to music, the band playing on

children dancing, as though at a ball.

 

It was here he met the love of his life

the girl that he would marry,

on bended knee with ring, he proposed

in haste, no time to tarry.

 

Courtship was short, time not on their side

as war raged on in the trenches,

today he sat with a tear in his eye

as he gazed at forlorn empty benches.

 

Their marriage survived the years, two world wars,

children, a joy to behold,

many a day spent here in this park,

but today he was lonely and cold.

 

The bandstand no longer a musical feast

kids use as a place, just to meet,

but his ears hear the strains of the old brass band

and the rhythm goes straight to his feet.

 

He buried his Martha but two weeks ago,

life just seems at an end,

heart though heavy with memories intact

he remembered his lifelong friend.

 

In a rain sodden coat he stood and he bowed,

his arms around her waist,

in time to the tempo he heard from the band

he twirled round and round in such haste.

 

The music grew louder, his heartbeat it raced

as he swept his Martha along,

until in a frenzy he fell on the ground

he knew he wasn’t so strong.

 

He has her hand and they're together

don't be sad you found him gone,

for once again he's with his Martha

together they danced, as the band played on.

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Entry Code - 2007RC035

The poem was written from the prompt 'The Band Played On'.

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19
  • ecrivain01
    February 7, 2008

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    Yes, this is a good poem ...

    but you badly need a "d" on "dance" in the last line. I would also add an "ing" to play here:

    to listen to music, the band play(ing) on

    Otherwise, you've done a fine job. I am not big on nostalgia type poems and normally don't even read them, but this one does work well. I had given you a Silver on the "Little Soldiers" poem, so I thought this would be worth a read, and it was.





  • Talia
    January 27, 2008

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    This reminded me of one of my residents who always goes on about his late wife and how they met and things. Such a saddness and happiness in it. Beautiful piece, love just isn't the same now as it used to be.


  • bethan-gaze
    October 2, 2007

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    Hey Sue, I'm so pleased to see that this delightful poem has been given an honourable mention in the recent Raven contest - many congratulations!


  • Silent Cougar Moderators member
    October 1, 2007

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    Well done Sue, your a star, I knew you were. Thats two of the group with These Beauty's..well done.


  • Blue Rew silver member
    October 1, 2007

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    This is truly a wonderful read...speaking to the heart and really, that's all that should count.
    Lovely, and I wish you the best with this write.
    Blue


  • Matt Holck
    August 30, 2007
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    sweet

  • Raven Judge
    August 25, 2007

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    I wrote once wrote a couple of pieces about a carousel horse that were in the same vein as what you are attempting here. Something about these memories makes us think to the future, as if to contemplate what was means to consider what will be.

    The paramount importance in these efforts are imagery, and the results can be judged almost entirely on the merits of the pictures alone. These works are literally designed to show us emotion through words, so discussing topics such as grammar, punctuation and flow are almost always besides the point(1).

    Considering that, I feel you did an excellent job of showing your audience a story of sadness, but also of triumph that takes a time-tested-true look on both the afterlife and the meaning we derive from our time on this earth. The worthwhileness of this entry is how personally it can be adapted by many readers. This is a versatile effort with broad appeal.

    Thank you for your entry, it was a pleasure to read.

    ~Das


    1 - which isn't to say that there are errors in this piece along those lines. I feel the flow could have been improved, but really, it doesn't matter at all in this case.


  • earthstar
    August 23, 2007

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    It was very touching, one could believe the theme that a person died of a broken heart.One could clearly see the kind elderly man life with his beloved Martha. One could see his sad face as she was no longer with him. It left me with tears in my eyes. Great images and the flow went well with this write.I like the ending as they dance on. The ending was very well done. Good luck on the contest.


  • Northern Raven
    August 10, 2007

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    I think this must be one of the saddest love stories that I’ve come across during this contest. The imagery is so strong through the entire poem and I could clearly see the old man at the bandstand dancing with Martha, the love of his life. In reality this story could apply to many people as we all know there are some old folk who only live for each other and when one is lost, the other can not bear to live with out them. It’s a very sad thought but very true and I feel that apart from this being a very good story, it’s this link with reality is what will hit the heart of readers.

    I like rhyming poetry but often think it loses out on the emotional front due to word play in getting the rhyme in sequence but that is not the case with this poem. The emotion in this piece of work is never actually written about, it’s all implied and created through excellent images and I feel that this is the poem’s strength because it hits the heart of the reader. There are some places where the flow is a little out, particularly between different stanzas, for example stanza two compared with stanza six, but the rhyme scheme has been carried out well, which aids the flow through the whole poem. The story is written logically and doesn’t jump about all over the place, as I have seen some do. Although the end is sad, it’s beautiful in that the couple are reunited once again, which leaves the reader feeling happiness as well.

    All in all I feel a lot of work has gone into this poem, which is a wonderfully romantic read, one that many will enjoy and I can appreciate why it has already won a trophy.

    Congratulations on reaching the final round of the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with this entry.

    Northern Raven


  • Quill
    July 25, 2007
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    Whoever wrote this is certainly aware of what I consider is good poetry.


  • DareU2Byourself
    July 23, 2007

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    Nice job, hon! SOOOOO beautifully written! I hope place well in the contest!


  • Puppydog gold member
    July 23, 2007

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    SUCH SAD MEMORIES!

    These memories are so sad yet they hold much love in them. Sometimes love does stay forever.


  • buggles
    July 23, 2007

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    AWWWWWWWWWWWW

    you brought me to tears , this poem is beautiful, I loved every stanza, this man bows to your excellence, Eddy


  • arafura gold member
    July 22, 2007

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    memories intact...

    Very sad but also a very romantic work my friend! There is some great imagery in this work and you have used some wonderful word choices.
    Good luck in the contest!


  • Secretlyconfused
    July 22, 2007

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    Wonderful! Simply wonderful! The emotions jumped out at me, and I understood what was happening in your poem. The description you used was very good it created a picture in my mind, and the picture at the top added to the effect. I loved reading it, and can't wait to read more of your poetry.Keep writing!<3Jess

  • piccola silver member
    July 22, 2007

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    Lovely, well written and I had tears in my eyes. I just wish it ended with "the band played on" ... or some mention of the strains of far off music. Then it would be perfect.


  • shadedgrey
    July 22, 2007
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    Great stuff really nicely done, only criticism is the length but it flows well.


  • Haunted-Memory silver member
    July 22, 2007

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    Awesome

    This poem is Awesome and although sad holds a really beautiful story of love behind it. I look forward to reading your poetry as the emotions that come with it flow from the page with ease. Wishing you all the very best in this contest Brian.


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    July 22, 2007

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    Brilliant piece of writing

    Very very sad indeed. A wonderful piece of about love and devotion. Imagery very very strong and the piece flows so well indeed. An old man remembering his happy memories with his loved one, until the end when she came for him. Together at last, again. Brilliant piece. Well done Sue.

    Wayne
    xxx

1 - 19 of 19