Dark winter takes an empty heart.
All reflections smashed due to shame.
Tell me how my world fell apart.
I felt her hand. I touched her skin.
Once so full of life now quite cold and pale.
Oh she's out of reach from my love,
Yet my want for her won't grow stale.
The years have passed like the winter.
This life's worse then it might appear.
Cold loneliness, relentless night.
Only to keep returning here.
To go without woman's passion.
To grow old with no one, alone.
To live in eternity's punishment.
My life has lost it's rhythmic tone.
So I flee to be by her side.
My feet race passed the gallows-tree.
I watch him standing in silence.
I wonder why he'd not take me.
Breathless, weak, stumble to her grave.
I lie as quick as I can blink.
The man from gallows finally comes.
Together again. My heart sinks.
Author notes
My inspiration from this poem came from the man, who lost his wife to death. This poem is in response, how he was effected after his wife's death. I made a reference to the gallows tree, and the demon from the original write.
The Demon of the Gibbet by Fitz James O Brian
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/41898-Fitz-James-O-Brien-The-Demon-Of-The-Gibbet
~Whitemaiden
A contest entry
- The Random Rounds - Round 5 by Frodofan.
480 points, ended August 4, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Reunited by Whitemaiden
Title - 7
Style - 8
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 8
Originality - 9
Reaction - 8
Rules - 10*
Makes sense - 9
Enjoyable - 7
Total - 84 -
Title - 5
Style - 9
Form - 8
Spelling - 10
Captivating - 10
Originality - 10
Reaction - 8
Rules - 10*
Makes sense - 10
Enjoyable - 8
Response Bonus - Yes - 5
Rhyme Scheme Bonus - Yes - 5
Meter Bonus - No - 0
Total: 98 -
You have some nice lines here and lots of emotion, which I like, In particular the fourth stanza, "to go without a womans love", etc


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Neat. I hope you enjoyed that poem as your prompt. I think you did well one this.
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I loved that poem.
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