dunes
shift
the
in desert
a
l
o
s
t
camel
A contest entry
- The Shape of Haiku by azure85.
790 points, ended July 30, 2007, 41 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - lazy contest: pre-write party 2 by DancingRed.
300 points, ended August 23, 2007, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is really quite amazing!
It's rather interactive -- you allow space for the reader to turn their head on one side and figure it out for themselves. I love that about this poem.
Thanks for entering.
DancingRed.
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ooh.. i'm surprised!
why, thank you very much! i much appreciate the gold!
bless ya! -
merci beacoup!! i much appreciate your views and i glad you got interactive with it yourself. thank you so much!!
bless ya!
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this is truly amazing ...
an outstanding job done on this concrete haiku, formwise and aesthetically ...
brava !!!
maa
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thank you so much, maa! i'm glad you really liked this too. i appreciate your read and your views!
bless ya!
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I love the revision that you have done, it is excellent. I am glad you followed Polly's advice, thank you so much for your entry.
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thank you!! i'm glad too!
my pleasure you liked this piece and i'm honoured to receive silver. thank you so much!
bless ya!
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This rewrite is really good. I think that it is much better than the original. Excellent job.
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*nods*
thanks for poking me to revise it! now that i look back, the previous really sounded bland. 
thank a lot! i appreciate the silver!
bless ya!
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Thank you for entering our workshop/contest, "The Shape of the Haiku." Good luck.
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sand
storm
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d
u
n
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s
re
locate
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Very nice haiku with a great concept behind it, but it seems to be more made up of statements rather than of sense images. I am sure that you could describe the same thing using images. I look forward to see how you will accomplish it. -
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aww...
so much for my 3 worded haiku.. 
'tis ok.. i can forgive you for making me do this Polly.. 
lol.. i've made a revision. check it out.
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this was intresting and descriptive. i like how you set it out. makes it unique and different. a wonderful write well done and best of luck.
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i changed it.
thanks loads though for the appreciation!
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