kneeling reverence
begets this fallen hour:
a journey of breathing interrupted,
thoughts flood mind
as lightening strikes heart
leaving togetherness engraved
penguin clothed removal
black bagged signed dispatch,
red-tape legal machinery
offering:
cold enclosed hatch
damp impounded crypt
finality of life’s journey
deepens in knowing:
where death never reigns
there will be reunion,
hatch and crypt but stages
His love is enough
Author notes
Option 6 [One look from you and I would fall from grace]
In a list
A contest entry
- NO RULES by J McSANE.
354 points, ended July 25, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 500 Entry Contest!!! ~BE EXTRA SURE TO READ RULES!!~ by kiwikrazi37.
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Ohhh wow. This is very deep. And though short, which I don't mind at all, the point of this piece was definitely explained well.
"finality of life’s journey
deepens in knowing:"
Those lines really stood out to me. I'm not sure why, haha, but it reminded me of something that happened a few years back.
Thanks for entering and good luck! -
Wow, deep and emotional with every word. Nicely done, thanks for your entry
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Wow!
There is a lot of meaning behind your carefully chosen words. I really loved this part...a journey of breathing interrupted,
thoughts flood mind
as lightening strikes heart
leaving togetherness engraved ...
This write catches you in the emotion. Big Applause!

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Liked the flow of these lines - lost my dad when I was 10 -48 years ago, seems like an eternity ago. Wrote about it in poetry here for the first time since then. Interesting title - place of transition. Good to have faith, sees us through many situations like this. Not sure if this is about a military death or not - think there is more to this than is visible - something deeper. Only one remains now with memories of past. Also like the brevity of the lines and the alliteration used.







