Off-Grid, Send Calculations to Heaven [Didn't Pass Geometry]

How dare you battle my wonderings of why i am here in this place, i'd think it would be obvious by now why i HAVE TO BE in a place with palm trees papayas and pre-teen coke use; so forgive me, god, if i'm confused on your desicion to flake out on me now. you were doing so well, my head held high, ignoring warnings,i fell straight up into this island where cows even get out of their cages, trying to swim across the ocean. give me medicene, give me seventeen year old wizards, stories of wonderment and maybe i'll forget my problems but no. i won't, will i? i'll speak your tongue for now, play along nicely, but at the first sight of uproar, i'm gone. i'll fly away and be the blacked out mark on your wills and the whispered secret that my aunts even shut up about. i'll be that kind, if you want. or you'll comply, you scaly thing, you'll obey and find yourself inside a place rather dark and quiet, blind deaf and numb to my piercing sobs of agony of being parted from my soul, so, so, what are you up to now? taking pictures of teh countryside? leaving me alone again? if i could, and oh believe me, i want to, i'd figure out why you're sitting there, silent and tamed. if i whip you, what happens? wanna relive years of abuse-i think not. so fucking what are you up to, LORD? what in store could you possibly have for me, with my caliber and sharp cleaver and rather drained self? i've given up enough, haven't i? no? what do you want now? I won't give you fishers or tailsmans or girth or stealth or these black keys i carry with me. not them. not my heart, sorry, you missed the boat for that one. leave me alone, carry me home and don't bind me with memories i love turned grey, my eyes will fall out, not more death and despair, you're so unworthy. ward off my presense? are you afraid of me now? haven't you noticed i'm GONE?

NO one remembers me.
I assure you,

I made sure of it.