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Constitutional

Missing image

Behold my most amazing brain.

  I strut about it with my cane
and walk a crenalated line

  to solve this puzzled mind of mine.


I wander to the central core,

  then find myself outside once more,
For when I stop and do the math,

  I find that there is not a path
From here to there or in to out

  (a place is not what I'm about).


It's not like there's a starting point.

  Connections form and then disjoint
and reconnect in different ways.

 

  I wend my way, but memory plays
a trick on me, a careless lapse,

  the crushing jaw of metal traps

me, processing an endless loop,

  still hoping that I might recoup

coherent thought and break the spell,

  but I'm still locked in my brain cell.

 

I'd like to board a train of thought,

  and travel far, but I am caught.

I circle, cycle, cramped and crazed:

  my brain will always be amazed.

Author notes

Contest entry with picture prompt. Oh, and my brain really is amazing.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Room without doors gold member
    August 12, 2007

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    Outstanding

    I liked the intricate flow of thoughts and the smooth flow of rhyme. This is a humourous poem that shows a sense of sophistication with a theme that everyone can relate to. I liked the whole concept of the mind as a maze with different pathways and alleys tucked away. This poem shows your ability to be creative with language in an original and unexpected way.


  • passim silver member
    July 30, 2007

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    Clever stuff as always. I love the last stanza. Amazing write from an amazing brain. Well done


  • MargaretG
    July 23, 2007

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    sympathy

    I recognized my own vague processor in these lines, each twist and turn is familiar.
    Good couplets are great poetry. I have only one line to mention - "but I'm still locked in my brain cell." Good fun, good luck!


    • Epistomolus silver member
      July 23, 2007
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      Yeah, brain cell is a spondee, can't get away from that. My only choice is not to use it, and I wasn't able to make that choice

      I chose punning over poe-try, and am ready to take my pun-ishment.


  • silica silver member
    July 23, 2007

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    I think that I must now confess, this wit and wisdom I like best… better say than – “judicious justice” the scan of which seemed a tad unctuous… (The usage of this word is grossly stretched – (sufficient to make a verbivore retch!¡))

    A novel interneuron net… a labyrinthine superset¡! A convoluting cascading comet… and droll distinguished ditty on it¡!

    I liked it very much – good punch line too!


  • Ryno
    July 22, 2007

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    I loved this! Wonderful flow and rhymes....very cool take on the prompt and I loved the metaphor of the last stanza...it was so enjoyable and fun to read. Thanks for the entry.


  • museamuse
    July 22, 2007
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    Perfect.

    yes, mind is amazing!


  • Dark Whispers
    July 21, 2007

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    This is a great write from the picture, it had a wonderful flow, and amazing wording, good luck in the contest

1 - 8 of 8