The world crumbles in my eyes.
I light two cigarettes.
I have a plan.
No more sunshine
Trading pain like trading baseball cards.
A packed office of ignorance.
A packed office of the broken.
A packed office of the forgotten.
A packed office.
Go ahead and beat your child mam.
It is only fair.
Your husband beat you.
Family tradition.
Beg for the drugs.
That’s right- go ahead and beg.
After all- life is a pain.
Scream and yell your anguish.
It is all about the green.
You’re a doctor? but from where?
Nobody cares.
Get out that prescription pad.
Legitimately ill elderly.
Legitimately ill children.
A fragment of the puzzle.
Hell and Heaven reads the waiting room door.
Let my eyes burn.
A contest entry
- simplicity by Avani.
1300 points, ended October 15, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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The ending was simply amazing.As was the entire poem.I really liked this part
A packed office of ignorance.
A packed office of the broken.
A packed office of the forgotten.
A packed office.
It was so good. -
RAW and RIVETING
ironically it made me think of when my friend Lee encouraged his sister to take her nine children to her welfare appointment with her, and he fed them candy like a, erhm, 'good' uncle first so they would all be hyper, he assured her she would be thru her appt in record time, and she was!
anyhooo i digress, you have yet again written something that takes the reader to a diffeerent harsher reality in a thought provoking manner, very well done!
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dark, I like the use of smokes
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very nice flow
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Oh wow.
I liked this, -a lot-!!
Honestly, it reminded me of myself quite a bit.
The style and choppyness along with the 'hate against the ignorance and stupidity' of the world.
The rhetorical-ness and sarcasm, it's all there and that's how I write.
Or, used to.
I'm sort of loosing that effect lately.
But anyhow,
I really did enjoy this!
It makes you think.
Great job.
<3
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