I grope from door to door
remembering footholes of Plath, Sexton
& how I could have written those words
if only I'd had the talent. I imagine the poets
in revolving winters
clamped to their chairs, searching
for the crooked pulse of depression.
How I longed to be so tortured-
swim in darker waters;
no sweet notes or coloured fish.
I wonder how it is I came to be here,
bloated & wild
there is no more room for new poems.
Author notes
.
In a list
A contest entry
- listen . . . by Annalise.
320 points, ended July 25, 2007, 3 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Sky is Alive by sweetpearl.
2975 points, ended July 29, 2007, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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i'll remember your words because some of these pieces you write are timeless, like this one..you just have this way with words that is completely undescribable. i hope you are never out of poems for that will be a sad day indeed..
-lys
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You have your own voice...
always have had it. This
is perfectly penned, my
friend - Love, Lane
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This is flawless, seriously. You will be up with those names, one day.
"I grope from door to door... - ...& how I could have written those words"
--admirations are great. I really need to look into Plath. Anne Sexton, I also need to get more familiar, because I actually do like the pieces I have read. The first line really pulls the reader in and great choice with "grope".
"if only I'd had the talent... - ...for the crooked pulse of depression."
--"revolving winters", that's incredible and the image it sets really adds to the mood of this piece. I'm always so pleased by your choice of words, "crooked pulse" to describe depression, very interesting and original.
"How I longed to be so tortured... - ...no sweet notes or coloured fish."
--I really loved this part, mainly because I think I can relate to it in my own way. Even if you are depressed, you want to be even more hurt than you already are and you see those that are there and wonder why you aren't. The swim line is fantastic, really speaks about the sadness and hopelessness.
"I wonder how it is I came to be here,... - ...there is no more room for new poems."
--the ending is great, it really speaks truth. Sometimes you just can't help but feel what you're writing has already been done, said. Originality is out there, I see that in you and many others here. But I know what it feels like to think you don't belong anymore. I may be going off topic but it seems sometimes you wonder if you live for writing but what you write has already been written, is there a point to your existence? Hm. At least it's thought provoking, whether I'm close to what you meant or not, heh. An excellent write, as always. I missed your work.
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yeah. That's my girl. You have poetry pressing through every vein.
Fish! You used fish! (Seeing how I've become obsessed with fish lately... that tickled me).
As always... you write with talent. Pure talent.
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LOL- I'm obsessed with fish, I use them in so many of my poems I often have to take them out
Thanks Meli xxx
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amazing.
urr... 'nuff said.
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wow.. this is wonderful- you continue to amaze
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DISPIRITED?
Get some good food and frolic and fun to get over your ennui. I assure you you will find a lot of things to write on. This is a passing phase of depression which, I must say, you have described very well without wasting many unneccessary words. Good work.
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Dark and highly intelligent
Slightly controversial too...I don't know why I think it speaks to me or speaks to all of us who feel like there is nothing new out there...to mean more to us than just writers block
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Very nicely written. I love the way you left the last line at the end sitting alone. A sense of being alone and wanting something. I do love this write. Beautifully written. Best of luck in the contest.
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inspiring
a small step
right foot - wrong ground
monolithic expectations - loud footprints
sore self canvassing
right Plath - left Sexton
bloat out in need of failure echoing sound
in this room there’s no more space
just perfect walls
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Wow
Yep diffinatly has a wow factor. Not much to say, except, Great Job!
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Amazing
This is the first I have read from you in a month
And you still have to wow factor
Firstly I hope you're keeping OK and things
Secondly I don't wish to be a suck ass but I do think you have the talent (As I have expressed many times)
Even this expresses this
Belive in yourself, you're amazing
All my love
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You have the talent!
Trust me you do.
You'll be one of the ones they remember when you die.
I loved this. A bookmark for sure
<33
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I know the feeling! I love it.
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you have the talent
you have the words
you just need the belief
elaine
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.. of few words. Thankyou
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I am trying to get mine back again - words, I mean.
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no worries, I haven't had any for a while
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hmm I was just thinking this very thing two nights ago..
and tried to write such a poem.
you know what it takes to be a writer jess.
and you've still made all yours unique.
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Thanks m'luff
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You so have the talent Jess. Oh, to be a poet.
Best wishes in the contest.
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Thanks Stace
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Nicely Written!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is very nicely witten. Your words are very discriptive and used in proper context here.You do however have what it takes to be a poet, as you have proved that in this piece. Very vivid imagery flow was smooth, not forced at all. You transfer the picture in the readers mind of old poets if you will, and how they wrote and what they used to write about. Nice job on this piece!!!~~Toni~~
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Thankyou..
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a poet you are, for you've captured the truth that makes all poets poets
bravo
kudos
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