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Roses and Thorns


Sifting through remnants of yesterday’s passion
saving the morsels of thirst quenching dreams,
savouring scraps of love’s fleeting embers, 
sampling the flavoured seeds of extremes.

Narcisstic sentiments time can’t relinquish
incessant, negligent self imposed pain,
acidic heart beats burn with a mournful

sigh of acceptance that memories feign.

Decaying petals espied in the debris
strewn on the heaps of mouldering hurt,
compost of hopes and perishing blossom
cloying emotions cast off in the dirt.

Maudlin notions erronous and futile
keep coming back to haunt me anew,
flatters my ego with jaded intentions
mystical images developed into

Roses and thorns of love unrequited
filling my head with dead and gone blooms,
pricking my soul with thorns of distraction
flippantly wafting their bitter sweet fumes,

Author notes

yes I read the rules.
words used:-
sifting saving savouring fleeting sampling flavoured
narcisstic incessant negligent acidic mournful espied
maudlin erronous flatters jaded mystical flippant(ly)

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • Lute
    December 28, 2007
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    content 7.3
    vocabulary 10.3
    accuracy 7.8
    creativity 7.4
    theme 7.2
    originality 7

    totals-47


  • Denierim
    October 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    You have a great vocabluary that you used well in this piece. The rhyming is wonderful, flowing and not forced at all. The emotions are clear with this one, bound together with the sad words. This is such a sad yet beautiful poem, like the roses you described there. Such a good flow and such a good write... I can't really find anything bad to say about this and that's a very good thing. Beautiful work!


  • Katyv
    September 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is very beautiful. Nice imagery. The rhyming is okay.

  • Seeking Peace silver member
    September 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Well I am suprised to see this one was a word bank, what flawless rhyme and flow..... well done on a fabulous piece

    Thank you for taking the time to enter your favourite prewrite in this contest, I wish you the very best of luck

    Karen


  • Elfin
    August 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Thankyou so much for awarding my poem with gold. I really enjoyed the challenge of this contest and the words seemed to flow from nowhere. At the moment I am struggling to write a couple of lines, I think my muse left me to stay with this piece. Thankyou again. Val


  • Cannonsfire
    July 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing, the flow and rhyme is exquisite and if I hadn't picked the words I would never have known it was a word bank. Its perfect. Love, C


  • Random Goldfish gold member
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ohhhh...nice images here...I am also an in love with the picture you used for this...haha...good one...

  • karabi
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    VERY GOOD

    Good poems can hardly be written to order, but this one is an exception. It has been so well written that it seems spontaneous and inspired.

  • Acidanthra
    July 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    A very good poem indeed.

    The only criticism I have is: Lower case your capitalized letters. I had a very hard time reading this poem due to the distraction of those words. It abused my eyes, which in turn, made my brain go haywire, attempting to keep a clear, focused, tuned read.

    The title was great! That is what attracted me to read this poem. I absolutely loved the picture, and your words were very much alive when you intersected the two.

    The last stanza left me refreshed, because I was able to go deep in my mind, as I love to do. Keep that up, and you will have one more reader for life!

  • Acidanthra
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    A very good poem indeed.

    This is a great poem, but would have been better without the capitalized words. It abuses the eyes, which in turn, sidetracks the brain on keeping a straight, focused reading path.

    My emotional response to this write was rather intense.


  • storiesuntold gold member
    July 21, 2007

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    Good write here

    Yes the flowers do wilt and die but the thorns still hold a point and the ptals turn into popourie to be savored for the love once shown

  • darrylblacksr
    July 21, 2007

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    Everytime I read one of your poems it always shows a new level of writing that just incredible my friend. I wish you the best in your challenge and god bless you...


  • amaranthine lover gold member
    July 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow, I really like your use of imagery and vocabulary in this one, neato


  • no win no fee
    July 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Cleverly written. I thoroughly enjoyed this

  • JustBreathe gold member
    July 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Enjoyed your write. Good use of vocabulary. Best of luck in the contest!


  • Slightly Toxic
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Had a very nice flow,
    and all around, I liked it a lot.
    But I d0 think words should emphasize themselves, rather than having to capitalize them for the effect.
    nice write, :]


  • Stardust100
    July 21, 2007

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    Love the last verse. You use very powerful words this is an excellent write the end is just brilliant x


  • AmyW
    July 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    WOW FLAWLESS

    Beautiful writing....Very thought provoking and lovely.AmyW

1 - 18 of 18