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Never You [fragment]



It is because of you
that I love the morning mists,
I cannot remember your face
only a soft blur in my thoughts now;
morning mists bring shapes so soft, muted and vague.

I cannot remember the lines in your face,
or the way your lips pouted after I kissed you;
no longer see your small chin
how it seemed to make your face end too soon,
or the way it fit on my shoulder lying close, breathing.
Just a faded memory, it is not you.

It is because of you that I love the city streets in the rain.
I cannot remember as I last saw your face,
in front of the old library,
you beneath the stone lions;
they were standing over you
fiercely guarding your back.

I can no longer bring the picture of your eyes,
your wonderful dark eyes, calling to me;
that we could change our directions
like the weather vane on the steeple,
turn south and you to north, to meet and touch
against all winds, and odds, and chances.
This was just a thought on the wind, not you.

It is because of you
that I love the lightning on summer nights,
when the air is full and heavy, alive on my skin.
For I have no more recall of the way you touched me;
how your hands felt like the air after lightning
making my skin ripple beneath your fingertips.

No, I cannot remember at all your lips close to my ear
in whispers of the night to come,
anticipation, light sparks in prelude to your kiss;
or your image, like a reflection passing a glass window,
no none of these things of beauty; all are gone.

They have drifted away, like the boats in the harbor,
to the horizon, gone; falling from the face of the water.
I watch boats come into port, but never the same boats;
never you.




Author notes

inspired by Pablo Neruda "Escribir"

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • ardentMarch gold member
    March 27

    Edit | Reply
    you need to write more poems like this one

    "It is because of you
    that I love the lightning on summer nights,
    when the air is full and heavy, alive on my skin."

    so lovely..bookmarked..


  • Sunset Dreamer
    January 22

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    This poem is beautiful. It tells of a sorrow that time washes away, but doesnt erase. i love the transitions from nature and life to a loved one. this shows that no matter how much time one has to heal, some scars still show and hurt. Amazing.


  • hiraeth
    January 17

    Edit | Reply
    I can definitely see the inspiration from Neruda in this, especially in the last stanza (which is my favourite).

    In short, absolutely fantastic.


  • Ruby34
    November 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my God...I am speechless my friend..this is beautiful..I didn't want your poem to finish..that's how much I loved it...your words are so elegant and soft..speak of so much passion ...Fantastic job!
    Amarige


  • harajukuprincess
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful and loving. It so sad yet so loving. i ffeel all the love one has when they lose someone they care about. It really almomst made me cry. thank you so much for this wonderful write!
    ~Hara


  • tinuelena silver member
    November 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Fuck line limits. This is going in the book.

    If you want it to, of course.

    I LOVE this.

    Elizabeth


  • Jaredactyl
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    There is an emotional charge to each of your words, and when they come together just right, they create a lightning storm of sorrow and love. This is an incredibly well-structured piece with powerful imagery. I particularly enjoyed the line about the face ending so soon. You used original expressions which made this strong.

    Excellent work.

  • Flutterby--x
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "how it seemed to make your face end too soon,
    or the way it fit on my shoulder lying close, breathing.
    Just a faded memory, it is not you."


    I can relate to parts of this poem,
    Very emotional and well written.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Sophie.x.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Twilight Masquerade
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is amazing! The sadness with maybe even a hint of anger was just pouring out at me the whole time I was reading this. You have a true talent for writing poetry, keep it up

    . Rewarded 4


  • Zayra
    July 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is gorgeous and definitely reminds me of the Neruda poem.


  • Rowan gold member
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So very lovely..very Neruda-ish..
    I adore his love poems.
    "on the corner in front of the old library,
    you beneath the stone lions;
    they were standing over you
    fiercely guarding your back."
    loved that stanza..
    all very softly painted in my mind.


  • Night Hope gold member
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "They have drifted away, like the boats in the harbor,
    to the horizon, gone; falling from the face of the water.
    I watch boats come into port, but never the same boats;
    never you."

    This is a stunning piece, Poet. Reminiscent of Neruda, Paz, Tagore & others of their incredible ilk. Gorgeous descriptive technique. What woman wouldn't long to be remembered thusly, if her presence must be forgotten? Beautifully penned. Inspired, indeed. Wanda


  • Laura Lamarca
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This piece is simply stunning, such imagery and atmosphere...I shall be back to read as this progresses. Thanks for sharing. Laura x


  • left
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Discontinuation can wreak havoc in a process of progress. No future without past of which we only have memories, awareness. Time is merciless, space often too distant or near. And while we head for our fate that will terminate the stay in this plane, we must find ways to cope with our tragedies that may fade but will continue to haunt us as we walk in time. Thank you for creating and sharing. Take care,

    U


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Before I saw the author's comments I was thinking that this poem has a Neruda feel about it. Lovely poetry that emulates Neruda's style magnificently. I so loved this one... beautiful.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Cannonsfire silver member
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It is a fine start to a beautiful piece, and one I shall enjoy reading once more wistful illusions are placed on this page. Love, C


  • dehydrated
    July 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    bookmarked

  • Amera gold member
    July 21, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very good especially since you think it's still in progress. The imagery in this is lovely. It's amazing how you captured the feelings caused by natural things because of a past love or person.

    Love,
    Amera ♥

1 - 18 of 18