It is because of you
that I love the morning mists,
I cannot remember your face
only a soft blur in my thoughts now;
morning mists bring shapes so soft, muted and vague.
I cannot remember the lines in your face,
or the way your lips pouted after I kissed you;
no longer see your small chin
how it seemed to make your face end too soon,
or the way it fit on my shoulder lying close, breathing.
Just a faded memory, it is not you.
It is because of you that I love the city streets in the rain.
I cannot remember as I last saw your face,
in front of the old library,
you beneath the stone lions;
they were standing over you
fiercely guarding your back.
I can no longer bring the picture of your eyes,
your wonderful dark eyes, calling to me;
that we could change our directions
like the weather vane on the steeple,
turn south and you to north, to meet and touch
against all winds, and odds, and chances.
This was just a thought on the wind, not you.
It is because of you
that I love the lightning on summer nights,
when the air is full and heavy, alive on my skin.
For I have no more recall of the way you touched me;
how your hands felt like the air after lightning
making my skin ripple beneath your fingertips.
No, I cannot remember at all your lips close to my ear
in whispers of the night to come,
anticipation, light sparks in prelude to your kiss;
or your image, like a reflection passing a glass window,
no none of these things of beauty; all are gone.
They have drifted away, like the boats in the harbor,
to the horizon, gone; falling from the face of the water.
I watch boats come into port, but never the same boats;
never you.
Author notes
Option 3.
inspired by Pablo Neruda "Puedo Escribir"
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/14386-Pablo-Neruda-Puedo-Escribir
In a list
- Inspirations • next in list
- Possibilities for AP Book 2 • next in list
- Inspired by Pablo Neruda • next in list
A contest entry
- prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
300 points, ended October 17, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites! by aeolia.
380 points, ended January 19, 2008, 116 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - My Contest Cherry! by harajukuprincess.
300 points, ended November 5, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Praising Pablo by Old Poetry.
1500 points, ended July 12, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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Congratulations, PK. This is indeed a beautiful beautiful poem and I am so happy to see the gold trophy here!
~ Nicolette
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Thank you Nicolette-
for your warm words...so very much appreciated...PK
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Congratulations on the shiny cup my friend. I loved it the first time and I still do. YAY.
~Pamela
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Thank you Pamela-
Once in a while a poem of mine pleases me in some way, this one because it came after reading many of his pieces. I admire Neruda's amazing style and his brilliant ideas..thanks for all...PK
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To me this captures the bewilderment of love remembering so much inconsequential stuff but unable to recall so much more that would seem important. You have done this with some marvellous phrases that reinforce each other and produce a delightful whole.
Thank you and good luck.
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amazing poem, a poem that flows so smoothly and weaves threads of thought into a beautiful tapestry.
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Thank you so very much for reading such a long piece, and for your kind words...PK
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this reads as though Neruda's own thoughts found their way into your mind and echoed their presence loudly. well done and all the best for the contest. E.P
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Thank you Scot-
I enjoyed your work in this contest too, really there were many wonderful entries, it was quite a good contest...thanks for all ...PK -
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lol, glad you appreciate my comments and also my entry for this contest, but my name is Scott not Eric.
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well of course i know that...
... hmmm... my face is soooo red!..
BEAM ME UP SCOTTIE!!!....
... get me out of this comment.... thanks for all ... PK
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you wrote:
"...It is because of you
that I love the lightning on summer nights,
when the air is full and heavy, alive on my skin.
For I have no more recall of the way you touched me;
how your hands felt like the air after lightning
making my skin ripple beneath your fingertips..."
Ohh. what a stanza.
I enjoy thunderstorms, the wild prelude to lightning...
I have known this place you speak of, Peteskid. Both literal and metaphorical. I believe Neruda had such uniquely intimate responses as well.
If there were no other verse, this poem would be magical for me because of this stanza. Yet there are. And each weaves a mesmerizing encounter inside the soulful heart of a great poet. Wonderful.
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Thank you Simone-
Yes, the thunderstorms, something about that sudden connection of earth and sky...has always been a fascination for me...Thank you for your wonderful comment, and most for taking time to extend such warm thoughts...so much appreciated...PK
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This is just wonderful! You will have to forgive me for leaving it at that - I am very tired and not well at all! Had no intention of commenting on the entires in this contest, but I loved this
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Thank you Allyce-
for taking time on a difficult day, hope you feel better soon...PK
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What a beautiful and well-written poem this is, PK. I could definitely hear Pablo Neruda's voice in this one. Simply beautiful and a sheer pleasure to read this poem again!
~ Nicolette
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Nicolette-
i have had occasion to re-read some of your poems after some time had passed, and it was surprising to notice so many new things, so the poetry seems to grow with us...thanks for all...PK
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As it may fall to me to make a final judgment when the votes are in I will not comment on any piece so as not to give anyone the idea of what i might decide
This is to let all entrants know that i have visited and read
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Thank you Legend- PK
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congradulations on all he shiny trophies
a most ezxellent tribute. transporting the reader to the place where your memories are stored
It is because of you that I love the city streets in the rain.
I cannot remember as I last saw your face,
in front of the old library,
you beneath the stone lions;
they were standing over you
fiercely guarding your back.
thank you
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A beautiful poem my poet friend ,that even Neruda himself would be proud of.
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Thank you so much...odd i remembered Neruda first as a diplomat, it was years later that i discovered his poetry, and what all the fuss was about. Thanks for all...PK
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Absolutely breathtaking dear poet. In body, in strength, in emotion - I am simply left to sigh and wonder when Neruda incarnated to find light at the end of your pen.
Exquisite. ~Pamela
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Pamela-
I think you have had the feeling of understanding the work of a great old poet, and then when we write there is a sense of familiarity in the ideas and phrases; anyway...thank you so very much for your kind and supportive words...PK
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Oh, I think this is the first time I read this poem of yours.
You have done justice to Neruda's style.
What a wonderful poem filled with such vivid imageries.
Very well done, this is beautiful!
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Thank you Mari-
Not often i write something that I like...thank you...I know you enjoy Neruda and know his work...
thanks for all... PK
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From your beginning lines to your final stanza, this piece resonates deeply within my bones, Poet Man. It is as lovely as I remembered it to be. Pablo would embrace you for this, you know. Good luck in the contest. 
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you need to write more poems like this one
"It is because of you
that I love the lightning on summer nights,
when the air is full and heavy, alive on my skin."
so lovely..bookmarked..
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wow
This poem is beautiful. It tells of a sorrow that time washes away, but doesnt erase. i love the transitions from nature and life to a loved one. this shows that no matter how much time one has to heal, some scars still show and hurt. Amazing.
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I can definitely see the inspiration from Neruda in this, especially in the last stanza (which is my favourite).
In short, absolutely fantastic.
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Oh my God...I am speechless my friend..this is beautiful..I didn't want your poem to finish..that's how much I loved it...your words are so elegant and soft..speak of so much passion ...Fantastic job!
Amarige
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This is so beautiful and loving. It so sad yet so loving. i ffeel all the love one has when they lose someone they care about. It really almomst made me cry. thank you so much for this wonderful write!
~Hara
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Fuck line limits. This is going in the book.
If you want it to, of course.
I LOVE this.
Elizabeth
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There is an emotional charge to each of your words, and when they come together just right, they create a lightning storm of sorrow and love. This is an incredibly well-structured piece with powerful imagery. I particularly enjoyed the line about the face ending so soon. You used original expressions which made this strong.
Excellent work. -
"how it seemed to make your face end too soon,
or the way it fit on my shoulder lying close, breathing.
Just a faded memory, it is not you."
I can relate to parts of this poem,
Very emotional and well written.
Thank you for sharing.
Sophie.x.
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This is amazing! The sadness with maybe even a hint of anger was just pouring out at me the whole time I was reading this. You have a true talent for writing poetry, keep it up
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This is gorgeous and definitely reminds me of the Neruda poem.
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So very lovely..very Neruda-ish..
I adore his love poems.
"on the corner in front of the old library,
you beneath the stone lions;
they were standing over you
fiercely guarding your back."
loved that stanza..
all very softly painted in my mind.
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This is a stunning piece, Poet. Reminiscent of Neruda, Paz, Tagore & others of their incredible ilk. Gorgeous descriptive technique. What woman wouldn't long to be remembered thusly, if her presence must be forgotten? Beautifully penned. Inspired, indeed. Wanda
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This piece is simply stunning, such imagery and atmosphere...I shall be back to read as this progresses. Thanks for sharing. Laura x
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Discontinuation can wreak havoc in a process of progress. No future without past of which we only have memories, awareness. Time is merciless, space often too distant or near. And while we head for our fate that will terminate the stay in this plane, we must find ways to cope with our tragedies that may fade but will continue to haunt us as we walk in time. Thank you for creating and sharing. Take care,
U
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Before I saw the author's comments I was thinking that this poem has a Neruda feel about it. Lovely poetry that emulates Neruda's style magnificently. I so loved this one... beautiful.
~ Nicolette
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It is a fine start to a beautiful piece, and one I shall enjoy reading once more wistful illusions are placed on this page. Love, C
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bookmarked
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Very good especially since you think it's still in progress. The imagery in this is lovely. It's amazing how you captured the feelings caused by natural things because of a past love or person.
Love,
Amera ♥
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