Invigorate the alltogether Sedate
call this a procession Hope and Mourning
a song of life Life while Dying
not a funeral of memories. Sing so Quiet
Of my Human Fall
Bid my limbs to move
and my heart to still
The ink may flow.. Bitter Broken Promise
but no more blood will. Sharp to death
Where are you?
Names be etched What is left?
lines were drawn
As much as I would-
I cant. -I want you back.
I must not go away
I make it hard to stay
Do you miss me? The frost grows on broken flesh
I loose myself to something else
I waste myself Everything is just cold and haunted
in a life loosing Faith
Is twenty-two days a safe distance?
I can't forget. I breathe regret. Just sitting here
My worst fear is to not care
Someone said silence is the end. You said life is just too busy right now.
I want to write a better book.
I want to close it before you cry. Do you dream of me?
Torn pages. Mad life. Live or Die? This need, my Desperate Plea
I think of you.. Constantly
It feels like theres all these ropes tied to me. Youre my reason
I jumped off the cliff.. I'm drowning in the sea I am STILL here
It's just the thought of all them dragging me.
I dont care enough or way too much.. I want a release
speak in monotone
It is not alright say you are gone
The pastor or psychologist can drone on let this cease
Ive lost my trust in the rational and just
Everything is aching my Belief is breaking
Before it is almost too late
Come back to me please... Sing me back to Life.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I loved reading this i had to read it several times and still it interests me... it feels like emotion rather than words it appeals to a far more inter-mental part of me..
Great work..
El
x x x
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Wow you have improved so much since you first joined.
Sure, you were really good, amazing actually, but now.. this is gorgeous. the applause for this speak for themselves.
Hey, guess who I went to see in concert last night?
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who?
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Break my heart and I'll never return, but keep it and I will.
Singing Songs of sadness
The Angel dances by
Though you feel she'll ne'er return
All we can really do is try
And in spring the roses bloom
Baby birds will learn to fly
Maybe she will be there
All she can really do is try
Take this red,red rose
And my ring of silver
Tell me what you chose
And let it flow out like the river
And in the end the clock still ticks
Its slow and painful time is kept
You will see and you will hear
Of all the nights the angel wept.
I am your angel of music. -
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its been so long.. i know what we had was just a quick obession that was perfect for us both, cause we rooted ourselves in God and prayed for eachother.. i think thats why you were sooooooooooo very hard to stop thinking about, i so didnt wanna settle for anything else. i have.. so much.. =/. im not a virgin anymore.. im not remotely pure, ive got my self destructive cycle just as in place as ever.. and like always i see myself further down, in the hole, or merely once again at the bottom of the mountain i Need to climb, the fight defines our exsisitance. i still think about dying.. and i hold it in to not hurt anyone. i know you'll never see this.. i doubt you will at least.. and i needed to say it anyway. i love you
and you can forget me.. but i wont forget, i dont care how little our time was.. or whatever happened.. i dont know how to let go, ill embrace it still, hold tight and keep the memories alive..
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It's a horrible ordeal when one is not as receptive as the other. It's more than a brick wall - it's ... like you're shivering and they're busying basking in a summer's light.
A part of you needs them, because they have something you want, but they're just fabricated most of the time, eh?
Such confusion comes from the poem, and I think most can understand it. This poem seems almost an attempt to rid yourself of the confusion. A lot of words, thoughts, and work has gone into it, that's for sure.
< The frost grows on broken flesh
I loose myself to something else >
Brings to mind a poignant cryogenic capsule, as if there were such a thing.
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Powerful
This is difficult to review because it does feel so intensely personal, raw and gritty. I wouldn't bother with the small corrections unless you plan to submit for publication. It is very, very good writing. My best, PP
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Can't we all just get along.....?
A very intuitive perspective on the relationship between men and women. You have captured the essence of how different the needs are, yet the result is the same. Man needs not to feel trapped. (It feels like theres all these ropes tied to me. I jumped off the cliff.. I'm drowning in the sea It's just the thought of all them dragging me. I dont care enough or way too much..), yet not alone. Woman needs to be romanced(Do you dream of me? This need, my Desperate Plea I think of you...Constantly You're my reason I am still here) and not alone, both seeking validation and understanding.
This is an amazing creation.
With much love,
your AP daughter -
I'm shocked
Wow. You put into words what I could not.Thank you,for writing my feelings on paper.
I would give all of my everything to just hear his sweet Hello...
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WOW TOTALLY BLOWN AWAY. You have redefined poetry here. Two poems for the price of one. Nice work. I can feel the emotion and desperation that leaks form this piece.
"It feels like theres all these ropes tied to me. Youre my reason
I jumped off the cliff.. I'm drowning in the sea I am STILL here
It's just the thought of all them dragging me.
I dont care enough or way too much.. I want a release
speak in monotone
It is not alright say you are gone
The pastor or psychologist can drone on let this cease"
Well done,
Creatress
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very good
Some real good lines here & there. One can "feel" your poem. That's good!
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very very interesting...wow
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hmmm interesting
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I felt you pain ... i loved the way that the two parts were broken and disjointed kind of like the emotions within the poem
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This is a very sad write
So full of raw emotions. Beautifully penned indeed. Take care 
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Very sad. Even though you "make it hard to stay", you don't want her to leave ... an all-too-common problem in crumbling relationships.
"Ive lost my trust in the rational and just
Everything is aching my Belief is breaking
Before it is almost too late
Come back to me please... Sing me back to Life."
If she has no song ... it's time to move on.
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The last part broke my heart.
Thanks for that.
Also the lines:
and my heart to still
The ink may flow.. Bitter Broken Promise
but no more blood will. Sharp to death
are bloody brilliant.
I loved the whole thing. But I was not expecting the last part.
I love the part about writing a new book.
A better book.
Again, I can't say how good this is.
I wish I could write something this personal.
Something that inspired that much emotion.
Amazing.
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