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pen

 

 

 

 

ink drains thick
from fiber tip

coagulates
in blue clotted rows

like blood
on a birthing table

slapped soundless

the still-born
are still born

without promise
or future

labor pains
the same

breathless
soulless

grief is hope

denied

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Comments

1 - 25 of 25
  • Trew
    July 11
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    .


  • Namita silver member
    January 21
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    brilliance


  • jantastic gold member
    August 3, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    oh...


  • passionvine
    July 27, 2007

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    Very apt and true

    I just saw a documentary on Harry Crews where he states that finishing a novel was the closest a man could ever come to knowing what it was like to give birth.

    I also know a painter, abstract expressionist, who when he paints looks like he has lopped off the tops of his fingers as he spurts blood onto the canvas

    and the paintings suggest that sort of ultimate sacrifice.

    good spare poem

    Peace.


  • boilerjim
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Sad!

    Great words but what a sad story. I know that they all have to be told but it's hard to hear the stories. Thanks for the thoughts and words!


  • Zayra Yves gold member
    July 26, 2007

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    this is really intense al...

    like the fresh use of the blood/ink combo here...


  • naked roots
    July 24, 2007
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    Excellent poem.


  • Cat gold member
    July 24, 2007

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    i often feel quite helpless in the face of your saddest poetry- i try not to comment as not to minimize the effectiveness of your words- this is perhaps your strongest poem - the slapped soundless is stunning...


  • April Renee
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the still-born
    are still born



    oh my gosh that was amazing. i read this before but did not comment because it wasnt sinking in. but this go round, blew my mind. just great writing. thoroughly enjoyed.


    pen
    ink drains thick
    denied

    makes me think of why we want to write vs why we feel we need to.

    blu


  • Grunts Girl
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the hardest thing... to write to release
    and it pours out leaking everywhere making the worst mess...the transition from pen to earth was most global...
    i dont feel right putting the clappy things here because of their smiles and hands in the air cheering...
    though beautifully put together and from such a deep place hitting the deepest core, please know how much this was appreciated here, I hope this makes sense?
    maybe what i said didn't come out right...
    if i offended you because you interpret what i wrote about the applaud things please IM me... it is not because this sucked or anything... but because it hit the core.
    again, beautifully put together on a global proportion.

  • tightrope
    July 23, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • ellipsist
    July 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    incredible metaphor

    and one that I can most certainly relate to...


  • poetryality silver member
    July 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Last year my son and his wife lost two babies in a row. This year they gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Rielyn. I pray that there is a child in the future of these words.

    "the still born
    are still born"

    Those lines ripped my heart.

    Heart-wrenching poetry here AJ. It makes me think aback for a moment then, I must move on. very emotional writ here my friend. Glad you could write it out. I know these words all too well.


    Much Love ♥

    Renee


  • Whoochi gold member
    July 22, 2007

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    Metaphorical masterpiece but feel that this is a personal experience and sense of loss for you in some way..not sure...could be way off...All i Know is you continue to dazzle me with your way with words...again, am sitting re-reading your words and feel breathless....TY for sharing....


  • truembrace
    July 22, 2007
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    this leaves me without words...

  • Yvette Champ
    July 21, 2007

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    <

    al,I am so sorry to learn of your sister losing four babies and for your loss as their uncle,one of my sisters walks with the sadness of your sister and I fully understand each loss as I felt like an aunt already to the babies she lost as we prepared layettes and I accompanied her to her hospital appointments,the grief compounded by those that bless them do not know what to say or those that say oh,you can try for another,please accept my sincere empathy and thankyou for your thoughtfullnes within explaining what wasn't easy for you to explain,yvette
  • Yvette Champ
    July 21, 2007
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    A tight write,the metaphor used to great effect,but this could have only been written by a man,for labour is the worst pain in the world and even the searching for a lost muse does not equate,the poet points to the hopelessness of grief with accuracy,I see the analogy clearly of the writer grieving for the lost birthing of creation but as a mom who has lost a baby girl who was stillborn and many times lost precious things aswell as her muse I know that there is nothing,nothing worse than losing a child and no words are adequate for the pain,this was painful to read because of the metaphor,but the poet pens with great penmanship to portray the lost muse.

  • Arzab
    July 21, 2007

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    Powerful write. Seemed very metaphorical. The last line was powerful. It makes me think of how some people die before they even get the chance to live their life to the fullest, or in the case of babies, not a chance to live at all if aborted. Keep up the good writes.


  • Saffron gold member
    July 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • ca ne fait rien
    July 21, 2007

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    My brain turned your metaphor upside down. Writing, endeavour of any kind - hard work resulting in anti climax and disappointment as a metaphor for DOA babies. I hope this has not been a personal experience for you.

    The poem, either way is gut-wrenching, emphasised by the lean muscle with no spare fat hanging anywhere to cushion the impact.


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 21, 2007

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    I know this so well...wonderful metaphorical piece of writing - your pen drips life...nothing still born here.

    ~ Nicolette


  • monimac
    July 21, 2007

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    no still-born pen here, that's for sure.
    Loved it!


  • mantis180
    July 20, 2007
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    Why does your poem make me want to cry?

  • Rowan gold member
    July 20, 2007

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    ahh..you should tell your muse to come play with mine..lol.
    I know exactly what you mean, we all do..it's a painful experience to write, to want to write..
    but you do it so well, ..and hey, after birthing a thousand, or so.., it's just gotta get easier, no?
    lol.
    Loved this.

1 - 25 of 25