The grim reaper waits for me,
at the end of a very dark hall
He’s waiting for me to stumble,
so he can catch me when I fall
You’re probably saying to yourself
“This is just another rhyme “
Take a closer look my friend
I may be running out of time
There’s going to be an explosion,
it’s sure to be one of a kind
In all honest my dear friend
I think I’m losing my mind
I wake up every morning,
wishing that I was dead
Slowly pulling the trigger
of a gun against my head
I’ll leave no suicide note
there’ll be no good-bye call
It would be so simple,
so easy just to end it all
You can call me selfish,
or even a fucking prick
A hand full of painkillers
would surely do the trick
I would finally have freedom
from being your fucking slave
Laying six feet underground
rotting in my grave
Escaping from reality,
the stress of every day
I’m feeling so depressed
there’s nothing left to say
This may be a cry for help
I really can’t explain
I’m just so tired of feeling
nothing but hurt and pain
July 19 2007
A contest entry
- oh, to just disappear... by CarCrashHumor.
1500 points, ended August 15, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Want You to .:.Scare.:. Me!! by DecorusApparatus.
550 points, ended January 5, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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When I started reading this poem I thought this would be another reaper poem. I have written and read a few in my time and was lookng forward to another one. But then, around stanza 4 it suddenly changed. This poem sums up alot of what I have felt and is abosolutely wonerfully written. For me this is a poem that kept me nodding the whole time in agreement with all of this emotion. Your poem did scare me but not in a "ooga booga monster" sort of way but in the fact that every single line spoke the truth.
"I would finally have freedom
from being your fucking slave
Laying six feet underground
rotting in my grave"
This is a chilling stanza and an all round intense poem. Thankyou for entering it into my contest.
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Thank you
Thank you for reading my poem as I went throught my poems this is the one I felt was best for your contest.
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Oh thank heavens
The dr gave my brother some meds that almost made him lose his mind and he felt like killing everything in sight .I wish the public would demand that form of drugs be taken off the counters and out of drs hands for they never follow up on what they are doing to the people . I am so glad you are still with us today and have found peace in your home 0.If you feel you have to take medication to be able to stay with someone then honey staying is not worth it find your peace away from there and briong your happines in life back . -
PAINFUL
Reaches inside and pulls the tears from deep within...to feel so much pain caused by another that life is not life anymore...sure hope you are okay now
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Excellent.
This was really good. I loved it so much. It really drug me into your world. I'm sorry you felt so awful for such a long time, but glad you're feeling better.
Keep writing. You're really very good at it. And, for me at least, writing sets parts of my pain free.
~Perfectly Ruined~
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Writing is an awesome way to get things out. Thanks so much for reading my poem.
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oh my God!!!!! THIS IS PURE GOLD! I love how u wrote poetry to get ur emotions out so everyone could enjoy it. This is PERFECT! i fell in love w/ the 1st stanza and was captivated till the end. FANTASTIC JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thank you for reading my poem. I only write about my thoughts and feelings. Everything I write is my feelings, my heart. Once again thank you so much
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Truly heart felt this one
Are you really feeling better . I know that some of that medicine dr are handing out today gives people those suicide tensions and I truly worries me . Please tell me you are Ok for what I felt in your poetry was a shock to my heart . My brother was given some medicine like that and he said he could have shot everything in sight and never felt an ounce of remorse . I think that medicine should be banned from use by anyone . And whats ever more sad is they are giving it to middle school kids all over the country .
so sad indeed
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Yes I am Feeling much better now. The dr wants to put me on something else now but no way. Those thought were way too much for me.
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bah! what did they have you on? I hate anti-depressants... either they make you feel completely invincible and then you realize you're the absolute opposite, or they make you feel even worse.
I'm glad you're feeling better. this piece had a refreshing sarcastic tone... or not sarcastic exactly, but .. "in-your-face-i-don't-care"
yeah. sorry my comment sucks. -
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Thanks for commenting on this poem. They had me on perks and when a person is depress they really should not be put on perks. It just make the depression a hundred times worst than it was in the first place. Once again thanks for reading and for having this contest.
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great job. i have been there too at one point. i didn't think things could get better but thought they are never the best they could be i am still moving on. it is a very emotional piece. i love the way it flows. i like the last lines this may be a cry for help i really can't explain i'm joust so tired of feeling nothing but hurt and pain. great write. it was awesome i enjoyed it!
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Wow. This is really bleak. I'm sorry you are feeling this way and can well understand where you were at in terms of being depressed. I think at times we all get down. Some a little further than others. The rhyme and flow are wonderful. I'm glad you're feeling better. Keep writing.
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Thank you for reading my poem. I'm happy that i'm feeling better too. I just read my poem for the first time and it blew me away to think that I could write something like this is a little scary. Glad it's over
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Very nice, the rhyming is perfect... And how you display your emotions. very well written. Great job.
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Thank you so much for reading my poem
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Very good
Once you are in your grave you will have no freedom but so long you are out of it you are as free as air. You are free to exercise it in any manner you want, either shooting at your head or taking a handful of painkillers or sleeping pills. And all these you have told very well indeed, in easy flowing verse rhyming nicely. Very well-done.
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thank you for reading. Glad that this bad day is over. Hope i dont feel this way ever again. Once again thank you for reading and for commenting on my poem
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wow. this is really good. and i can relate to it very well. good write.
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Thank you for reading my poem. I think in some way or another we all can relate to this.
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wow, this is intense. you did a good job putting your emotions out. good job, keep it up! good luck in the contest. and glad ur feeling better!
Crimson -
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thank you for reading this. my mind is still a little f----- from the meds. I dont think I will be taking anything the doctor has to give for awhile. This really scared me. To have thoughts like this is scary. Once again thank you
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Excellent thoughts and EXCELLENT write!
You're apparently a good rhyumer, i love few lines which rhymed amazingly and they didnt even seem to be forced
You have expressed the pain and sadness very beautifully, and your words appeal to me amazingly..they're simple but strong and deep. The imagery is just perfect and flow is flawless, excellent These lines touch me the most
I would finally have freedom
from being a fucking slave
Laying six feet underground
rotting in a grave
Awesome, and the ending is dont with so care, i love it Keep writing, i will come back to read more of yours, do take a look at mine too
Love,
Mansoor
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Thank you for reading and commenting on this poem. As you can tell I wrote about my feelings and what is in my heart. Each and every poem I write is special to me.
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