daarkness
the touch on my skin
the noise noone else can hear
it caresses
it envelops
it rids me off my fear
darkness
it emptys me inside
making me pure
cleansing me
free from though
and pain
and will
darkness
oh unjudging goddess
oh loving spirit
i trust you
and i hope that
i lose it all
but the darkness inside of me
A contest entry
- ♥[Addiction]♥ What sucks you in? by Salt Therapy.
450 points, ended July 30, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
my entry.tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Its a Keeper
Very good
-
It was good, very clever how you used darkness as if it was pure and light. Very nice.
-
this is awsome kitty
i love it
darkness
it emptys me inside
making me pure
cleansing me
free from though
and pain
and will
is deep well done
love ya -
Beautiful
This is beautiful! You have really captivated the reader in the first verse. I like how each verse starts with the word darkness. It really creates an understanding in what your writing about. oh unjudging goddess
oh loving spirit
i trust you
and i hope that
i lose it all
but the darkness inside of me
This is my favourite verse. It was great to finish with and outlined the addiction well. GOOD LUCK!!!
Sorath
-
This is good. You misspelled darkness in the beginning, but it's very clear what you're addicted to. The ending doesn't make sense to me, "but the darkness inside of me" That's unfinished. Thanks for entering my contest, good luck!
-
wow
that is great, you can see its an addiction, and ur not sure if u truly want to loose it, its a great write, keep going hun xx
-
very dark and unique
loved it
-suicidal revenge-
-
Darkness, what an addiction
dark and deep. i lov it !
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
