I awaken to a dawn
very much like my beard--
silver-grey and wet with dew.
It seems I have anchored
in a watercolor landscape
of sullen clouds,
trees in mist
and a silence that
not even the loons
disturb.
Laying on deck,
I’m afraid to breathe
lest my slightest movement
send spreading ripples
to shatter the liquid mirror
beneath my hull.
The air hangs heavy
with moisture and
I soak it all into my skin,
into my parched memory.
The cool dampness
seeps into my pores
cleansing the toxins
from this past year’s
9 to 5 rituals.
The amazing beauty here
washes over me and
makes me forget
all the endless hours spent
counting down the days
until this one morning
here on Otter Lake.
It was all worth it...
Author notes
Inspired by the image:
http://www.fulcrumgallery.com/print_145771.aspx
A contest entry
- Picture Inspired by Cannonsfire.
4500 points, ended July 20, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Wonderful
Very creative and well written. Congratulations on the bronze.
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i havent seen the picture and i dont need to ... wonderful imagery and the rhythm kept me close, to its last line which was an exhale ... of 'gee, that was beautiful' ... actually very haibun like ... so nicely done ... the whole is very beautiful pulled together by some sparkling language and imagery .... l u v e r l y ! >>> Gina
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Excellent write!
For a moment, I was there.
Thanks!
Write on...
*PEACE*
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Exquiste -this poem is so bonita-it is like a song in your heart that you carry with you because it gives you so much pleasure- you have described this ,'awaken to a dawn'ever so beautifully-'lest my slightest movement send spreading ripples'-your poem has made us a spectator to this,'amazing beauty '-'It was all worth it...'- I can well imagine senor
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Have you gone Spanish on me?
A bit too much tequila? Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad you enjoyed this poem of mine...
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awesome
I especially liked the part about "cleansing the toxins" from your ritual, day to day life. Also, the descriptions of the "watercolor landscape" were fascinating. As always, you have a unique way of describing the world around you, a way that makes the reader find new beauty in ordinary life. Very well done.
I need to find my own "otter lake" - a place to retreat from the world where I can be alone with my thoughts. I haven't had that in quite some time.
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A poem lies less in what is said than what is not. What is commonly recognised but is just shy of being put into words, possibly can never be put into words. It is more feeling than thought, something that slides in between the lines and images taking you from the common experience to the uncommon, and if you pause long enough, perhaps the most revealing truth of your life will come to light.
No matter how often I re-read this poem, I feel the fur along the back of my neck lift - something tingles my skin - something more primeval than thought. The space of it recreates youthful forays onto lakeside forest paths, where light becomes defined by the upright tree and angle of the sun, where it comes like jaguar spots to the skin. Every trip into that lake makes you more... and yet so much less.
Lovely, lovely write well deserving of a trophy.
LM ~ YL
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Wow great poem. Love the way its wrote. Keep up the good work. Peace.
~A-Dog~
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it sounds so peaceful and serene
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This paints a very pretty scene in the readers head, the flow and pace of it is well done and the metaphors give the images very well. I enjoyed the read, thank you for your entry. Love, C
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