I wish upon a star,
I wonder where you are.
I see it twinkle from afar,
In my arms there you are.
I wish upon a star it sparkles so bright,
I feel your warmth in the light.
With your love it feels so right,
I'm so happy your my star tonight.
I wish upon a star to you I fly,
As our hearts join the sky.
I wish upon the star for faith,
To see you join me at my side this day.
He sends a falling star this night,
For our love does shine with such delight.
He placed the shine within our eyes,
A love seen from all who passes by.
Author notes
*UPDATED* PLEASE TELL ME IF THIS IS ANY BETTER? An I would like to say thanks to all for your help and support.
Amber
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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Nicely done Amber
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Thanks for reading please feel free to read more.
Amber
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This is just beautiful. It has a certain flow about it that just rolls off the tip of the tongue. Well written.
~Donna~
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Thank you so much for reading I'm glad you enjoyed it feel free to read more.
Amber
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I like this piece alot my only suggestion and that is all it is really is not so many spaces between the words.But is is a great piece you have much talent.
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Thanks for reading, do you mean I need to shorting me spaces between the lines? It's okay if you find something that needs to be fixed. I want my poetry to look good and easy to read.
Amber
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Hey its me
I have commented on this before but I ran through your poetry and couldnt find one I havent read so here some points for haveing such good work -
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Thanks. haha I don't remember what poem it was you haven't read. If I think of it I'll let you know.
Amber
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Awe this is a really , really cute poem !
I really enjoyed reading you're poem. I like the comparison to love and the falling star. Keep up the great work.
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Thanks for reading.
Amber
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Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight; wish I may, wish I might, make a wish on thee tonight. Remember repeating that when I was a kid and saw the first stsars out in the night sky. Your poem reminded me of that time. Easy to read and understand these lines. Liked the flow and the sentiments you have expressed here.
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Thanks for reading.
Amber
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Yikes, baby! Ignite me and shoot me across the sky, I'll be your star...I love love love love this! It's great, so heartfelt and sweet...My favorite parts:
"I see it twinkle from afar,
In my arms there you are."
and most-
"He sends a falling star this night,
For our love does shine with such delight.
He placed the shine within our eyes,
A love seen from all who passes by."
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Wow. thanks for reading please read more.
Amber
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Hi again I went back to comment to return the favor and couldnt find a new poem so I will check back later.
If you would pin your new poems to your author page which is located to your right we can scroll down and read more of your work -
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this is a soft and gentle poem, like the twinkling of a star, or the light in that special one's eyes...very nice you have made some wonderful images in this poem...PK
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Thank you so much for reading. Please fill free to read more.
Amber
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Aw, this is such a sweet poem! Well done.
FallenPoeticAngel
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thank fot reading feel free to read more.
Amber
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Very good done hun! Love it
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thank you for reading.
Amber
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this is even better. great job. I just might have to collab with you.
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Thanks.
Amber
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Ohh this is such a sweet poem. I love it Yeah, maybe it is short, but...does it matter? Well, if you think that you need to add more, well that's something different hehe. I can't think of any ideas too, but good luck with it. Anyway, nice job.
Keep writing and God Bless
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I updated my poem
Amber -
Thank you for reading.
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this is very good. very nice play on "twinkle twinkle littel star". creative as usual. keep it up.
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I updated my poem.
Amber -
Thanks for reading, you don't think anything needs to be added??
Amber
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I think that it sounds great the way it is. I like the begening of this poem.
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Thank you
Amber
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Great poem - see if this is a good ending
I wish upon the star for faith
To see you join me at my side this day
He sends a falling star this night
For our love does shine with such delight
He placed the shine within our eyes
A love seen from all passer bys
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I updated my poem.
Amber
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:0 thanks, You want me to add it in the end? or rewrite it in some how??
Amber
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I like this poem and the rhyming and repititon and yea your right it needs to be longer but its a good start so far.....good luck with finishing it
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I updated my poem.
Amber -
Thank you, I just feel stuck right now I was so inspired then I just kind of crached and burned.
Amber
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