Have your fill at the feast for sinners.
Take a heaping serving of deadly delight.
You whose faith never runs out,
Forgiveness is your answer,
Well here’s your allotment of pride.
Come, come gluttony is to be had by all.
Some of you started before the dinner bell rang.
Even you environmentalist have your share of sloth.
Oh stop!
I’m not here to judge.
I’m at the banquet too you know.
Save your wrath for the ones you love.
You can be greedy here.
In fact, its better if you are.
And those of you dying to get in,
Casting your hungry eyes this way,
Have a little dash of envy.
I hear its divine as a topping for anger.
No need to push and shove.
This feast is going to be here awhile.
I’ve helped myself to a plate-full of lust,
I’ve hidden a stash of vanity for later.
Care to join me at that quiet little table cutie?
Author notes
I get alot of great compliments on this poem..it is one of my favorites (and Im my harshest critic) and I feel as if Im calling everyone out on their B.S. trying to say just accept it...its so much easier if you just admit that we are all hypocrites. I like the way this poem flows a 'come one come all' kind of feel to it and I made sure to use all 7 deadly sins.
A contest entry
- Prewrites with Conditions by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended October 27, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The "Hey! Why Didn't My Great Poem Win Your Contest?!" contest by rrw.
1600 points, ended November 23, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I like it too and love the energetic approach to the idea of sin... not just gluttony but of pride, of ones lack of humanity... the main character seems to understand human nature far too well. Reminds my of a carny barker... or perhaps, the serpent in the garden of Eden tempting Eve to... take a bite. Lovely rhythm... and the structure holds it all together well.
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This is an incredibly unique piece. I love it! So dark and menacing, exploring the sins of man in fantasic way. Full of imagery and creativity. Well done! Thanks so much for entering my contest. It’s an honor read your fine work!
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This seems to give a "Welcome to Hell" type feeling, although I do love how you laid it out. A lot of poems get double spaced but I don't think that would of worked here, because it works really well in this format, especially when reading it without breaks. I read it as if it was happening in real time and I must say it was really intriguing, and very thought provoking and that is what I love about poems. I love to be able to have thought I wouldn't of had before, or even if I did its nice to see someone else have it as well.
Please keep on writing, best wishes,
Kimojuno (Jeff). -
This is lovely, and so complex and detailed. I love your line "I'm not here to judge" I don't know why but it stood out. Good Luck and Congratulations for a lovely write.
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This is quite intricate. Thanks for sharing it and thanks for entering my contest. Best wishes. Take care.
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Wow. This is so truthful. It really makes you think about sin. Great job. You put a complicated subject in some simple words. Great job. You did an excellent job making it easy to understand
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This is a pretty good poem. you did a great job writing it. good luck in the active contest(s) keep up your good work!
crimson -
WO dude! this is really strong, deep and rather powerful. The title fits to this wonderful write. Awesome. these lines rock dis wwrite
Have your fill at the feast for sinners.
Take a heaping serving of deadly delight.
You whose faith never runs out,
Forgiveness is your answer,
Well here’s your allotment of pride.
-Mansoor -
Zing
Sweetie, I don't know where all this dark stuff comes from, but the poem has a sharp little caustic humor I rather like.
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Very open and to the point....expressed in it's deepest layer.
I'd have to say the title fits this perfectly.
Well done!
Thank you for entering and Good Luck!
debbie
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Ooh, I like this a lot. The seven sins all included into one amazing poem. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!
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Thank you! for including all of the seven sins. I'd have probably disqualified this if you hadn't
Amazingly written, not forced and the flow is almost perfect 
Great write, thank you for the entry!
Bandaid. -
Capital Sins
As I read I get myself another reminder of what we are NOT supposed to do but we do nevertheless with full enjoyment. I guess your fine write proves we are only human
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i totally dissagree with Mary cat (luckily for you) I love this poem. It's dark and wonderful. The imagery is just astounding... and the words ring in my head. Thank you for entering my contes!
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I have something against poems that are in multiple contests at once. It always me feel as though the poet sorta didn't get that he was meant to write a specific thing for my contest in particular- and then i always have that sort of throw spaghetti against a wall and see if any of it sticks feel.
sorry..
m -
Amazing!!
This is absouletely publishable! Fantastic piece. Perfect imagery and structure. The use of language creative. You're talent shines here.
Favorite lines:
Some of you started before the dinner bell rang.
Save your wrath for the ones you love,
Have a little dash of envy.
I hear its divine as a topping for anger.
I’ve helped myself to a plate-full of lust.
I’ve hidden a stash of pride for later.
Sorry So many...
O.o
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