I lie in the grass as the clouds pass by
The moon and the stars light up the sky
More clouds roll in and settle to stay
The rain starts to fall and I run away
Away to my room safely inside
Away to my room where I shall abide
I sit in my window and watch the rain fall
I see stars runaway as the thunder will call
Blue lightning jumps from cloud to cloud
While thunder roars so fierce and loud
A star peeks out then hides once more
Lost forever in a cloud's core
Fog shields the moon and shadows its light
So it turns to cold gray from its glistening white
Rain drops swell and burst in the grass
Falling and falling in such a great mass
Rivers roll across the yard
Flowing and flowing although slightly marred
The clouds roll on by and the stars take the stage
But the story ends here so let's write the next page
The moon shines white and lights up the trees
Yet the stars are all that anyone sees
They are bright shining lights before our eyes
To dance across the dark blue skies
Author notes
"glowsticks and pickle juice" I chose option three and ten. Yay for me! = ]
A contest entry
- REVIVE MY INSPIRATION! by JoyfulWriter.
525 points, ended July 20, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ANYTHING YOU WANT! (Within reason) by BonaFidePoet.
300 points, ended November 26, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Very Best by Lj-.
300 points, ended November 29, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - yep yep yep 1 winner no more no less(erotica now welcome){{more than 1 entry welcome}} by DogTagz-TheJalapeno.
302 points, ended December 11, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inspire a young depressed soul, give me inspiration by Fedrizzi.
340 points, ended December 20, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - If It Makes You Happy. by La Tua Cantante.
380 points, ended January 2, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comment honestly please. But don't be rude. CONSTRUCTIVE CRISTISM is welcome. But don't bash me; I work hard.
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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This is by far my favorite poem that has entered the contest. It has a steady rhyme throughout it all, which really impressed me. It used such beautiful imagery; I could visualize everything so perfectly. Every line is just right.
My two favorite parts in this poem are:
“I sit in my window and watch the rain fall
I see stars runaway as the thunder will call
Blue lightning jumps from cloud to cloud
While thunder roars so fierce and loud
A star peeks out then hides once more
Lost forever in a cloud's core”
And:
“The clouds roll on by and the stars take the stage
But the story ends here so let's write the next page
The moon shines white and lights up the trees
Yet the stars are all that anyone sees
They are bright shining lights before our eyes
To dance arcoss the dark blue skies”
The only problem is the second part is that across has a typo in it, the “c” and “r” should be switched. But other than that the whole poems vocabulary is correct. The title is also very appealing, it was what really caught my eye whenever I was scrolling on who entered the contest. Lovely write.
Thank you and good luck in my contest.
-Dana.
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Thank you. Also, I did not realize that typo was there. Thank you for pointing it out. I will recify it immediately. Thank you for you kind words. This is one of my favorite things I have ever written and I am glad you enjoyed it.
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I truly didn't care for the rhyme & it didn't inspire me. Sorry.
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beautifully painted, you have a gift with imagery i see, wonderfully done, good luck in the contest (^.^) however, is it "I sit in my window?" or "by" or "at"
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Thank you very much. It's supposed to be in. It's talking about a window seat. I could see how that wouldn't make sense though. Thanks for pointing it out.
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omg that was sooooooo good. thank you for entering my contest
good luck -
such keen observation and sensitivity. I like the thought of you sitting at your window watching
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The rhyme was a bit rudimentary.
Thank you for your entry,
Best of luck.
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beautifully written
I thought this one was really good. Take care and good luck in the contest fellow poet. I am back to writing some pieces...
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I really like the rhyming, it wasn't forced, but blended well. Also just the idea is very comforting in a strange way, but good strange. Good job, and thank you for entering!
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Thank you. It seems that my best writing comes in the early hours of the morning. (This one came at 5AM.)
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I really like this write. I could almost taste the raindrops lol. The imagery is amazing. Good Job!
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Thank you. I actually wrote it at like 5AM. I guess I write better on no sleep. lol.
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Very beautiful with amazing imagery that took the reader into another world...great job here...thanks for entering my contest...good luck..smiles, Terry
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Thank you. <(^_^)>
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<(^_^)>
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This is really well written! It rained where I lived today, and this poem was a great read for me tonight Thanks for posting it!
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Lol thanks and your welcome! That's cool. I love rain. It's inspiration for me and I'm glad you enjoyed it. I wrote it at like 5AM! Lol. Late nights for me as always. <(^_^)>
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LOL 5am, sounds like something I would do The rain is awesome, I find it inspiring as well
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<(^_^)>
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Lol Awesomenesss. It's nice to know there is another night owl. Haha! Yep the rain rocks! Rock on rain!
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LOL yay rain
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I would dance around and clap my hands but their are three problems with that. One, I can't dance. Two, you wouldn't even see it. And Three, it would make me look imensely stupid. Lol. So I'll just say "Yay for rain!" and hope for a big thunder storm. <(^_^)>
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LOL I would do the same thing, but alas I can't dance, nor would you see me, and LOL my cat sitting next to me would think I'm crazy I hope you get some rain soon
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Yay!! Another random person! lol. Yeah your cat would think you were a little strange and if I did my mom would have me committed. lol. I hope we do too lol.
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LOL yay for randomness
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yep. yay for random people. you should look at my author page if you like random things. I put a LOT of random stuff on it lol. =]
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Alrighty, will do
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awesomeness = ]
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This is a very very beautiful poem. It has tons of imagery, which is awesome. I love the rhyme, and it flows very well. My favourite stanza is the first one, it just meant alot to me for some reason, lol. Great poem!
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Thank you. It was just something that came to me really late last night.
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