The fan blows lightly on your skin,
As you cry out in pain,
You want to be
Free
Free
Free
When you feel strange,
You look up and become terrified by Gabriel above you,
With his angelic wings spread out like a snowy owl's lined with gold,
She looks in to your eyes and draws three symbols on your forehead with her ring-finger,
The Crucifix,
The Star of David,
The Crescent Star of Islam,
He then looks in to your colourful eyes with its reflection in them and tells you in a voice that is in harmony with its many octaves,
"You can live on like this, suffer and die, death will free you,
You can lose your soul with your own hand, death will free you,
Or you can get help and be cured, life may free you,"
She then covered the three symbols on your forehead by placing her cool, soft, and empowering hand over them and said, "You do not know the difference between Death, Death, and Life for you are blind."
Author notes
This just came to me last night, I think it's a little rusty but I hope you like it.
A contest entry
- Faith, Path of Light by Oleander.
300 points, ended June 6, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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It's full of overt religious motifs but I like it You have written a really good poem
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thanks
thank you very much=)
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this is way cool.i totally get the meaning, which is big for me.great job! ;]
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very good
a very interesting view of religion... very thought provoking...good poetry does that... provokes thought.. great wording.. good write...
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very deep and choosie piece here. Gabriel is one of the 4 arch angels (gabriel, michael, and uriel). i like how you kept decifering Gabriel as both he and a she.... for this angel seems to be both. choosing religions is one thing. but i think, in my mind, that religion is just in the mids of people. there is no right religion, my opinon.
But i liked this very much. Thanks for sharing, keep up the muse.
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...that is pretty deep. how did you come up with that one?
a great story of temptation for sure!
lol
sorry, no corrections tonight, too tired.
--about the "three symbols on your forehead," are they symbolic of "666"?
--and so Gabriel is up above, eh? hmmmm...
...ok, so the story goes, you gave into temptation, and now you want to be "free, free, free," right. so the poem moves backwards, correct?
--is Gabriel the "devil" of whatnot, I forget.
lol. God forgives us all. even you. but yes, I know how you feel in this one, or in this case, me. lol.
very creative, really and a good write. you might think about writing a sequal about how you escaped (God freed you).
...kinda like the poem I wrote, if you remember...
-Thanx again,
--Pap.
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im not sure how I came up with it it just appread in my head one night, the poem is not moving back words it starts with the person suffering then gabriel comes and tell the person to turn to religon(The Crucifix,the star of david, and The Crescent Star of Islam) and he leaves the person to choose which one but the person does not know which one is the right religion and also Gabriel is not the devil but the messanger of god=) I think he is also said to be the angel of death but im not sure on that one, i think thats why people mix him op with the devil, once again thanx for having an intrest in my poems, it makes it all worth while, and don't worrie about corrections u have done more then i could have ever asked for =)
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