as young as youth should take it toll,
the demons beckon as to this I am told,
angels could not mock this thing I do,
it's all because of me and you,
with bliss,
I am taken of my self,
morbid thoughts and aching bones,
to rub my face in agony,
mirrors shatter to this I stand,
I am forcing God to take my hand,
my body quivers and to this I ache,
a child like fever and heaven sake,
as angels wonder to this I vow,
I have no will as to this I fell,
as blood and vessel,
and earth doth shake,
my life to end the less doth take,
soft cream skin I had my fill,
o'er my body, his voice doth still,
a touch, a lesson, a life long sought,
a song, a treason, and trial bought...
I'll drain my life right out of my soul,
a place in fammon, as lost control...
A contest entry
- The Slain Dreamer by Ayla YellowRose.
1600 points, ended September 20, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
i think sucide is to often boreing to me I think? it all comes down to the same thing I sliced my wrist it bleed and now I going to die! sorry but I think I am gonna try sucide myself on that factor!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Suicide.
MAKES ME ANGRY. i rather not talk about this, cuz usually people plot a mountain out of an ant hill, and thats stupid, if some people could have the life that some suicidal person has, They surely be happier than this suicidal indibidual, cuz it's so lame some people wanna live, and they just can't, and people that have all this life ahead let down for a minimum pain!, or even if it's a big pain, no one said life was gonna be easy, and if u can't go lower than what you have all you can do is look up and MOVE ON!
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ANYWAYS. I loved this piece of write. It just expressed so much, It's the best poem I've read today, keep up the good work and congratulations for this great poem.
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trust me i am not going to kill myself my sister has tried so' many times it scares me to death i just wanted to show people there is more to sucide then just cutting your self and bleeding it is real drama that is frantic and scary at the same time that drains a persons life out of them when they feel there is nothing left and more so' the realization that the people you love suffer through the same emotions with them
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I won't judge you just for this poem and say you shouldn't do that...hell I write so much twisted stuff that isn't true...but I wouldn't tell you not to do it anyway, I'm not you, and I'm not god.
This was a great write, I'm bookmarking!
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this is a good write. But seriously suicide is not the thing to do. It hurts everyone around you. I lost my best friend to it a couple years ago. It still hurts to this day. Think about your friends and family.
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i too have been where you are in your life!
If you think that life isn't fantastic and worth living, maybe you should kill urself!
Or did you write this poem to get people to say to you
"Oh dont do it, your a great writer" and other meaningless bullshit like that?
I think that suicide is a very serious thing, and if you even have to write a poem like this and consider it, means your too much of a pussy to go thru with it, because you need other people's outlook to tell you weather you should do it or not!
other than the bullshit behind this poem, the rhyme was tight, along with the flow...just dont flaunt your depression and xpect people to save you!
If you cant dig yourself out of the hole your in, then theres no point to any of this! -
Have you ever tried to commit suiced?
The rage and guilt it takes I know ive tried it.....unsuccesful as you can tell. But if your at a point in your life where you can't take it anymore Suicide does not seem boring you describe it as though it's nothing.
It's like describing an angel as something with wings that flies. It's not as dull as you describe it.
Not to say that your a horrible writer cause I thought that the poem was great.
But that's just my opinion.... -
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you look like a friend of mine
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i am sorry you had to go through that I wish I could hug you
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