jealousy, hiding on lashes
flirting with me
so I wrote her away
with coquettish verse;
anger reared its ugly head
so I ranted with emotional pen
draining it;
lethargy held me captive
until I breathed new life
into words once lying dormant;
and love was the killer
of longing and disappointment
so I penned a yearning epic
dispelling its myth
to understand its depth;
greed would hold me stagnate
searching for more
until realizing all poems must end
for another to begin;
each line drawing character
with pressure placed on poetic pens
to define inside;
thin lines tapering off
for those uncommitted
as heavy lines propel forward
delving deeply within;
hoping with each verse
to craft a character
we will be proud to present
as ourselves...
A contest entry
- SHOW YOUR CHARACTER CONTEST. Enter now!!! by ten thousand cicadas.
800 points, ended August 5, 2007, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
You answered the premise of the contest perfectly, only addressed many issues, instead of one, which I thought was marvelous. You showed with great imagery how poetry can be a powerful force for some of us to overcome ourselves. Each of your descriptions of the poetry that coincided with the particular weakness was so in line and unified with that weakness. Just marvelous.
I also loved how you talked about those that give up and those that persevere as mirrored by thin and heavy lines of poetry.
I think you are missing "I" in "so I ranted."
Your last verse truly speaks to the heart of my vision for this contest.
Thanks so much for a wonderful entry and for participating on this contest.
-
great
wow
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