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{Sweet} Self D/e\s/t\r/u\c/t\i/o\n

A pretty reflection with golden locks
The lines have deepened
Time has taken a minor toll
Lots of secrets hidden in those icy blue eyes
If I look too long guilt kicks on
Suddenly I have an addiction
Not recreational
 
Push that nasty reality aside
Just straighten the pretty white lines
They double in size on the mirror
A moment of hope for this might be too much
This could bring my end
Bitter sweet is that thought
Manically laughing {no such thing as too much}
 
The end is the only dream left
I dabbled in the game of society
Played the role of pawn
Well now I’ve had my fill of pie
Tired of the mass retarded dream
It left a bad taste in my mind
This time the monster keeps me
 
I ease back into the comfort of lies
Enjoying the reflected image as a whole
Lining up the straw I picture Alice
Chasing the white rabbit
With one foul swoop
Down the hole I go

Author notes

[you're looking }skinny{like a model]
option #8

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • EverxEnding silver member
    August 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love the last two stanzas.
    They're brilliant.

    Good luck in the contest!


  • DrunktankLullaby
    August 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I loveee the second&third stanzas.
    & also... I know this is a bit strange, but I loved the first two lines of each stanza the best out of everything.
    This was well written.


  • Forgot2Breathe
    August 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I ease back into the comfort of lies
    Enjoying the reflected image as a whole
    Lining up the straw I picture Alice
    Chasing the white rabbit
    With one fowl swoop
    Down the hole I go

    I love the alice in wonderland refernce!!
    I love the poem all together really.
    Very beautiful indeed.


  • Lj-
    August 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I like the Alice in Wonderland reference.

    Thank you for your entry,
    Good luck.


  • Dancing Marionette
    July 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is really great bby,. the stanza of this is just breath taking. thanks for entering and good luck!


  • thelovesongwriter
    July 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this was a great poem, full of imagery, but one problem that irritated me--


    Tired of the mass retarded dream"
    retarded? egghhh sry but that bugs me, it's not exactly a poetic type of word..., one suggestion, you can change it to something else..but other than that, great write.

    thanks for entering&best of luck
    [i don't mean to offend you or anything!]

    -lovesong


  • Soten-Jaganshi
    July 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well done. the imagery is great. this is one to keep in mind indeed! Thanks for entering my contest!


  • Exodus gold member
    July 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Oh WOW. This is amazing. Some of your imagery left me stunned and your metaphors are lovely! Thank you so much for this Sly, it was just... whoah. I loved it ^_^


    • Nobody Royale silver member
      July 19, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      I'm glad you liked it...it took a couple of re-writes but it finally came out the way I wanted too...just in time for your contest perfect timing...good luck with the contest

1 - 9 of 9