Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Purple Dream

Inside this purple dream
You have trapped me in a glass box.
I cry out but you are deaf to my sceam.
I struggle to be free; to break the locks
Which hold me tight within my mind.
I slowly start to suffocate
In my thoughts all of the same kind
And all I can say is, "I am Nate."

Outside this purple dream
I dare to breathe yet again.
You stare at me as you scheme
About how to increase my pain.
Drowning deep inside my soul
I wish I could be free,
So help me out of this hole,
All I can tell you is, "I am me."

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your much heartfelt and insightful entry, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • Auburn Sunrise gold member
    April 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I know this feeling all too well.
    My problem is - I don't feel like I really know who I am. As soon as I think I have it figured out and I'm comfortable with who I am, something happens and I'm kicked back to square one!
    I love the trippy feel of this one. The "purple dream", "glass box", and "locks...within [your] mind" all combine to create a sort of surreal mood in the poem.
    Definitely an awesome write!!!


  • aboomer silver member
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like the wording in this! Reads nicely. And I like the depth of emotion and the realism of what you are saying. 'inside' we do feel sometimes like we are suffocating and wish we could escape. And I really like how emphatic you state that 'you are Nate, you are you'. It's nice when you are in that 'hole' that you still know who you are, you still recognize that 'you are you'.
    Well done!


  • NooNiThEWitcH
    July 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is loads better! Thankx
    Nice poem, neat and interesting. Definitely beyond my expectations for this title!
    I like your rhyme and flow, and how you contrast the two stanzas! Nice work, really!

    Thank you so much for entering this in my contest. Keep up the good work.

    Nooni

  • NooNiThEWitcH
    July 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    excuse me .. I cannot see the black colour.. so can u please change the font colour.. anything bright!
    I'll be back to read!

1 - 6 of 6