We traveled the world together,
My heart in her hand,
Her fist through a wall.
We lived in the yard,
Slept in the dirt,
Her blood in my mouth.
We finished our coffee,
Got ready to go,
Her puppy ran under a car.
We where defeated,
Now she's on a bus south,
Her sent still on my cheek.
Now I sit alone,
With all this rain,
I'll sleep in mud.
Author notes
http://s203.photobucket.com/albums/aa125/dakotadarkness/?action=view¤t=AJapaneseGoth-1.jpg
In a list
A contest entry
- All options by Ignis Corpus.
450 points, ended July 19, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Phrase Inspired- Pick One by StormGoddess.
450 points, ended July 20, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Clean Ugly by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended July 21, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The wonders of many sleepless nights. by x-Black-Butterfly-x.
600 points, ended July 23, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Diaspora by SamiJ.
450 points, ended July 23, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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awww no dont sleep in mud. because for everydown is an up. no matter what. this was a wonderful write and waqs diferent to what i expected therefore making the write unique. well written and very emotive. well done and best of luck
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Not bad, you have some good images going on, but the puppy line just didn't work for me. Can you think of something less cliche than dead puppies? Also, in line 13, you spelled "scent" wrong.
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This is an emotional sounding piece, sad and depressing. But it is kind of choppy too, and I got lost in some of he words, trying to regroup them to fit with the rest of this. I think you grabbed somthing decent on the prompt though. Good work. Thank you for entering and good luck Storm
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hmmm good poem, i loved it, and im glad you chose this picture, i think your the first person to, i put this one in there cause i wanted to see what people could get from this. good job on this, and good luck in this contest
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