Is this my time to fall again
With my ambitions fading into the night
Are you going to pull my will from my heart
And clip my wings so I can't fly?
You try so desperately to shatter my life
Father, do you not see that I am better here
If you take me from my friends, my family, and love
It will awaken my most haunting fears
I have struggled for so long
To keep my evil, hating soul buried beneath
A joyful existance, without harming anyone
You ignorant fool, its my demon you'll release
I am doing so wonderful here
Working for my keep and keeping my work
In your greedy rampage to my heart
You must not realize how much it hurts
I deal with grief and stress daily
And I am struggling to get my life on track
My friends are there for me, as well as my love
Atleast I can say that I have that
But if you make me leave here
I can guarentee, my life won't be the same
And there will be no one in this world
That can say, your not the one to blame
I am so scared, so terrified
I will lose all that I have worked hard for
And you are going to be standing there
When sanity slams shut her doors
When I lose my mind, and will to fight
My demon will be let out
Any hope for me climbing life's mountains
Will be lost in it's tearless drought
Father, there is only so much one being can take
And I have taken more than you think
If I lose this fight, I warn you now
All my will to batter the demon will sink
And my hatred and anger will possess me
Addreniline will become my blood
Pumping through my twisted veins
To unleash my wrath filled flood
You have no idea
Of the torment you now put me through
If you take me away from Texas
I will be coming after you
Author notes
Options 2 and 3
I have been living in texas for some time now, and I have started to get my life on a stepping stone. Going for my GED, drivers license, emancipation, I have a job, going for a better one, I have become so independant, I am doing really good here considering all of the shit I have gone through and, Guy, my sperm donor, is saying he is going to make me move back to Indiana... in with him and his new family.
My mother and my little brother died in a car accident in February and just after the accident when I talked to him on the phone, he told me I could stay in texas because that was what I wanted...
but, of course, the fucking shit head bastard has changed his mind. it isnt me he wants.. he wants to get ahold of the 500,000 dollars I am getting because of the car accident. I dont care about the money.. but he does. He lost his son and he doesnt give a shit. I lost my mother and my little brother and all he cares about is money.. . not me.
Well, I have this 'inner demon' that I have been fighting off for years. One sick twisted vile creature lives inside my tormented soul. And through all of the pain that I have endured it has grown more viscious and cruel than you can imagine. I have a grotesque serial killer, living inside of me... and I have kept that demon at rest for a long time but I know, without a doubt, that if Guy forces me to move in with him.. and his new family... that will be the very tip of the iceburg.. all my demon needs to crush every hope and dream I have ever had. I will lose my mind.. the second it happens.. and I know.. it will never return
I am petrified, terrified, scared out of my mind of losing my sanity after getting so far. I have seen the very depths of hell.. many times.. and I have struggled to where I am now. If I have to take this last huge bite.. it will be too much...
A contest entry
- Ensnarement of Sorrow [ a dark poetry contest ] by gasolinequeen.
445 points, ended August 22, 2007, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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