Alone and broken
Trapped in the past,
Trying to kill the memories,
Unsure how long I can last…
Drugs and drink dull my brain
Blades prove that I am alive,
Each time I almost escape it
My mind will take another dive.
Balancing on a cliff top
Pain and darkness to either side,
Memories of pain and beatings
about which have been lied…
Every day the same
with blood upon the floor,
Beaten and insulted
the truth hidden behind a closed door.
Blood spreading out in rivers
Burnt flesh can be smelt,
But I deserved it all
Deserved all that was dealt…
All long ago now,
Hidden from it for too long,
With drugs, drink and self-harm
Was too weak, could never be strong.
But now I will hide no more,
the past no longer rule,
no longer hide from reality
never watch my blood making a pool…
All my family did is long ago,
When they left me to die and rot,
Though those things will forever remain,
Never to be forgot…
The world has moved since then
I have a family anew,
Owe them a life better than mine
A life I never knew.
Author notes
ok, it's a while since I've written anything... so a little rusty...
basically I am starting the long road to recovery, for real this time... I am now a father, and I am using that as motivation to get myself sorted, I want my daughter to have a good life, to have a life that I never had, and for that I need to be a descent father... not falling apart as I was
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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It's sad is it? To have had a life like that, and there are no words to say how sorry I am you had to experience all...but I am sure you will manage to change it into giving your daughter a better life now...
May true love be your inspiration
Take care
XXJeannette
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