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She Isn't (disturbing)

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I’m new at this
I tremble at every touch
He knows what he’s doing
I don’t

I told him I was scared
His words shut me up
But his eyes lied
I don’t feel safe
I don’t

He pulls my Hello Kitty pants down
I tense even more
He asks me if I’ve been licked
I haven’t

We’re naked as we lay together
Self conscious of my bald places
He asks if I’m old enough
I’m not

I’m in pain, he doesn’t care
The sheets are soaked in blood
I asked if I was good enough
He said "no"

 

 

 

Author notes


I wrote this for the shock value. Date and underage rape happens every day.

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • pantress silver member
    February 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, this paints a picture of a very disturbing issue, all to common, and very little done to curb. Child molesters deserve, a death more painful than i can even imagine.


  • TwiztidMaggot
    August 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow, this is scary. Thanks for sharing this with us! wow. good write. keep it uP! good luck!

    Crimson


  • Hetha gold member
    July 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    It may happen everyday, but to the victims, it does not feel like an everyday occurrence. Victims still feel the shock and violation each time, even though they may or may not experience this more than once. Once is horrifying enough, you've depicted that extremely well, and I give you kudos!

    Love,
    ~Hetha


  • Swtpoetryman
    July 21, 2007

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    DISTURBING & POWERFUL!

    This is shocking, indeed BUT beautifully written nonetheless with a powerful message thrown into the mix! Whatever happens between CONSENDING ADULTS is OK with me BUT when it comes to being forced to do something that you aren't into or just too young to do - no one should be used and abused in this way. This is the second piece - i've read from you today - and although this is disturbing as you said in the title - if she or he isn't old enough to do - they shouldn't and they should refuse whenever possible.
    Peace & Love!
    Earl.

  • hurtgurl
    July 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    SHOCKING BUT GOOD WRITING


  • PerVirtuous
    July 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The need to be wanted can be a debilitating thing. It is so important to raise girls that have self-esteem and feel loved and protected by their fathers. The idea of sex as a ritual of validation is frightening, but that is the picture you paint here. This may be as dark a work as you have ever written.

    But, very good indeed.


  • Dalaney gold member
    July 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yep, you got a ripple of shock
    going up and down my spine...
    intense write, but as always,
    done well and with such keen
    intellect...Bravo, my friend.

    Love, Lane


  • Desire gold member
    July 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Oy!


    Holy Moly
    This tugs at the Heartstrings and I am so trying to type and be coherent

    Powerful piece with so much intensity~
    each stanza builds...
    but the reality
    hits between the eyes...

    just so real...and it does happen
    There are other countries which this happens
    more often then we would could imagine...
    like breathing air...
    before the child is sold to another...

    Magnificent piece Sweet Soul!
    Thank You for sharing this...
    Many blessings to You in the contest
    Best wishes too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • HaleyMary
    July 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Powerful write. this is indeed very shocking. The imagery was disturbingly graphic and the parts of the rapist knowing the victim isn't old enough and that he's going so hard that she's bleeding badly enough for the sheets to be soaked shows how cruel the perpetrator in this story is. I hope this isn't based on personal experience. Good luck in the contest.


  • PoetsAngel
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful, disturbing and shocking. As always you make the reader feel strong emotions with your words. Good luck in the contest.

    Cathy
    x♥x♥x♥x♥


  • RedAquarius
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A subject close to me for several reasons. I actually did a thesis on the occurrences of date and stranger rape - the statistics I read were frightening and sad. good write to bring more to the light what happens every day to so many.


  • soulfultia gold member
    July 18, 2007

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    Well, shock you did girl. This was needless to say an intense, write, subject and thought. You created the scene you desired well and left us all with our jaws hanging open at the end. Sadly, an impacting write which leaves an indelible imprint on our souls. ~Tia


  • StarEyes
    July 18, 2007

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    WOW! My dear friend, what a sad picture you paint here. You did a great job on it, It shows the terror that one feels when this is happening to them. I know, it is like you looked into my heart and pulled out memories I would rather forget.

    Best of luck in this contest!

    and much love always

    Nyetta


  • Laura
    July 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    this is brilliant wow i really really like this xxx

  • Eulb kcalB
    July 18, 2007

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  • Eulb kcalB
    July 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    poignant, gripping piece Amera.


  • Sacrificial Love
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Shaken...at the very least...

    this is so profound....short and to the point....and hitting straight to the core of such a horrible issue...


  • JohnnyD gold member
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    cubbie, quite true, and everyday, there are those culpable males who need to be beat to within an inch of their life, or beyond. many such folks are still alive, only because there is no legal season on them.

1 - 19 of 19