“and in Iowa I know the children must be crying
in the land where they let the children cry,
and tonight the stars will be out
don’t you know that God is Pooh Bear?”
I awoke to America crying;
the whore,
sending her sons to war
for sundries and oil
scalps for the bulging shelves
in the dollar store.
Such men of honor
who remain
dig graves
eat ground round
off paper plates
drink cheap wine
and discuss the events of the day with disgust,
mother sweeps gnats from her swollen stomach.
You will see most Mondays,
Mommy up atop the lemon drop
a smile upon her television face
beaming on the wounded
her beatific grace.
Underneath, the roots wither
scrape
and the dry winds moan
across the prairies where the harpies scream,
and the buffaloes roamed,
note the coiled morning glories
slowly unrolling
to greet the galloping sun
racing up the sky
in its golden chariot,
Soon,
we will learn to hide our face
as we count our stolen gold.
Author notes
quote Jack Kerouac, On the Road
In a list
A contest entry
- America. Let's question. by supermansdead.
500 points, ended July 29, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Poets Against War 9/20
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and hide we will. it is in this country's past, it is in this country at present, but we cannot allow it to be our future, or we will (as we have proved already) never learn from our mistakes.
how cold this gold must feel, when all around us there is only death and lies.
i appreciated this. well done. your words are effective, your style unique. -
Bravo!
Great job! Right to the point and punches itself right on through.
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The way you write about it, makes it really sound scary.
That's good, because it is.
The stolen gold in the last stanza interested me... it's a unique way to look at it, isn't it?
As Ariosto said, you "shine with social protest." It seems like you have experience in writing on the social injustices that plague our world.
Very well-written! Best wishes in the contest!
Goldmare
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Lute, you shine with social protest.
I understood every word of this one, no translation needed.
On the mark, let's get the bastards!
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(nods my head)
My friend Bobby and I were just talkin along these lines yesterday.
loved those ending lines...what a finish!
Excellent poem Sir Lute, you are a talent
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it's that pride before a fall thing..
the gross overbearingness of it all, in political circles they must sit there and wonder how wonderful they all are... how the land of the bloody free can be so conformed and hideously secret..
America, brave and beautiful?? is that rhetoric Mistah Lute?? ---- I wonder as I look at photos of my city Manchster before the IRA cam and blew it up...
peace to you hun
this is strong piece without too much sanctimony and self prophesing... good stuff
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Everything fit together perfectly, the picture, the quote, the poem. You did a fine job with this poem. I felt chills on my spine as I could almost hear screams emmitting from praries. I love how you portrayed the sun almost as a horse.
The last three lines were the most powerful, though. The element of shame was a decidedly complete ending for this. Write on!
~*~SP~*~ -
Much much more in your face... from start to finish .. for me at least
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yaya!
me likes the rewrite. sumthin' broke a piece of dam that was messin' the flo.
yeah, a yungin. not trying to tell anyone wat to do, just speakin' my mind cause it's a place to do it.
i hope i never disrespect you with my opinions, seein' how i respect your writin' so much.
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I like when you speak your mind that is why I said it! Not enough of that around these parts.
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thanks lisa.
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Yup.
I like when the kids come round and tell you what you should do with your pomes that makes me think that there is hope for the future.
Yup. This pome right on. Maybe cause I know the characters cause the appear in various colors throughout your poems. There is something to be said for knowing a poets body
of work. I think it helps one read. But that is just me .
I was just with my friend, Chatty Cathy, we was talking abouts stuff. Her hubby big giant really rich radiologists - anyways they gonna buy a new house on the water see they got a big giant farm house which they renovated -- and a summer house across the street which they renovated to twice the size of the original house - but they really want a dock with water access so they can get their kayaks in easier (too hard to take them up and down off the brand new toyota highlander ya know) SO see they are investigating GREEN products for their new house cause they very much into conservation and such. So they hiring a very expensive architect who specializes in building GREEN to come down from boston to talk to them about their new home which will be built with all new green products. Cause they not into waste. Nopey. Also, Cathy was telling me about Mr. Al Gore's book which she is now reading why you think all those environmentally safe products about 3 times the price of the bad for the environment stuff anyway?
OOps. Tangent. I think it was the Bloatedness that triggered me.
Hey. Good luck. In the contest and all. Sad poem this but pretty damn full a truth.
Lisa
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i do like the opening. on the road is also one of my favorite books, however, i don't think this is the appropriate place for it. it's like a beautiful garnish on a chef's salad - it gets lost and i don't know what to do with it... put it on another plate?
and the only reason i think it doesn't fit is because your subject is america "the whore" and this speaks nothing of her. i'm lost. she goes from being a whore to a media screen, to a haggard rooted thing... i do like the imagery very much, but her wrong-doings and her thieveries are vague and the ending is unwarranted.
WE all know why we hide our faces. but i am not so sure why "they" do. especially when "they" fought for her.
good job at creating lasting images, though. nice read.
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Only half of America is a whore. The other half just isn't pissed off enough.
Good poem!
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Love the beginning of this, strong and in your face. The position of the quote seemed out of place to me, breaking the image of 'mother', which forced me to stop, go back and then pick it up to find cohesion with the rest.
So I read it again, but placed it closer to the end, and altered the 'they' in the end to 'we' and that pulled it together .. for me. I prefer we over they, since they always winds up sounding preachy for me.. it doesn't much matter whether it IS a they, it's that when I think of war I see we.
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Eh, not impressed. Heard it before.
Went off subject and didnt make sense really, rather letting the reader decide what you mean, then saying something. Annoying actually. But hey, its your poem. Poetry wise, its okay, but could be better.
Maybe try to go into it a bit farther, be blunt if you're gonna choose this kind of a poem to do. Its..too safe.
If you're gonna say it then say it.
Thats all I got so far.
Good luck in the contest. -
Powerful, muscular piece here. Definitely poetry with balls! This one should cause controversy.
Bill
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