Why can't I let my heart devour what's left of this
specimen of my brain?
So tonight my lungs can hang and finally have a new breath.
Where the air isn't to tainted and this heart hasn't been forced to pump,
as the lifeless soul dwindles above it.
Gag me and break me.
And put my name on my carcass.
When you lift up your shirt to show your pain,
lift mine and look at the scars.
Remind yourself that mine is still there.
And of all who hurt, why did mine stay?
When I look out there is no light -
just the black hole I've been running from for years.
I tread for miles on this bridge.
My legs are limp. My body is lonely.
I strung them all out.
Where did my heart go?
Author notes
11th july 07.
so this isn't suicide suicide, it's more the thoughts preceding suicide.
i hope you like it =/ i have another one on the way, but this is the better version.
this is how I feel most of the time lately.
A contest entry
- oh, to just disappear... by CarCrashHumor.
1500 points, ended August 15, 2007, 48 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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When you lift up your shirt to show your pain,
lift mine and look at the scars.
Remind yourself that mine is still there.
And of all who hurt, why did mine stay?
When I look out there is no light -
just the black hole I've been running from for years.
I tread for miles on this bridge.
My legs are limp. My body is lonely.
I strung them all out.
Where did my heart go?
Aw sweetie; this is so sad.
You can talk to me about anything okay?
Love you.
♥
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"Remind yourself that mine is still there."
I think it should be are instead of is... Right?
This is amazing.
I really liked it all... It was just so simple and the metaphors were pretty and it just gave such a delicate feel to such a heavy subject.
Great job < -
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hmm, to me is reads better.
<33
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I'm reading all the pre-lims again, and I must say this part
" Remind yourself that mine is still there.
And of all who hurt, why did mine stay?
When I look out there is no light -"
is ... so flawless. -
I loved the lines...
" Remind yourself that mine is still there.
And of all who hurt, why did mine stay?"
great piece.
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finally a breath of fresh air..!
the percentage of poems I can actually get through in my contests lately is diminishing quickly.
so.. thank you. -
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thank you.
you're a star.
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"Remind youself that mine is still there.
And of all who hurt, why did mine stay?"
oh damn. that hit me hard. you definatly ask some terrificly relevent questions here that i wonder myself. good write babes; <3
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