She came to me silently in the night
Took my hand, roused me from sleep and gently
Led me to the waterfall of delight,
Tumbling from the spring of life, temptingly.
We stood together, close but not touching.
Trembling, I felt cleansed by the water's fall.
Shy, I reached for her. She smiled, enticing
Me to follow her through the water's wall.
Beyond the fall, across the mound of fire
She drew me into the cave of desire.
A contest entry
- 20 lines or less by forgotten dream.
425 points, ended July 21, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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a sensual and lovely sonnet. the form and rhyming worked well to give the piece a nice flow throughout. i really liked the ending two lines - it ended the piece strongly. some good descriptive words, and overall well done write. keep up the good work! thank you for entering and best of luck in the contest<3
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boy, I have felt this way many times before, but I have found that if you I can just contain myself and not have any physical contact, then I am more easily able to remove myself from the temptation. physical contact, I think, should only come once you think you could comit to that person your life; otherwise you're just giving your heart away, and if and when you find your true mate, you will have that much less heart to give to her.
--a beautiful poem. more deep than mine. lol. I think you stand a chance in the contest.
-Pap.
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I really enjoyed this, found it sensually enchanting.
Wish you all the best in this contest.
Bella
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