Raven black, like the souls of the visitors
who come in the night.
They whisper in my ears and mind,
not loud, but just so I can hear,
"do not fear us,
we mean no harm,
we are just here to offer you peace.
We can see you weeping every night
before you sleep.
Pain so great should be healed,
so listen please to our deal,
give up pain and worry deep,
and we shall wake you
from your endless sleep.
in return, life as you know it must end.
but believe me, it shall be worth it, my friend.
no more aging,
no more pain,
no more loneliness ever again.
Make a choice, do not be long,
trust yourself, you wont be wrong.
Sleep now beauty, we shall return.
Then your gift will be earned.
It has started, let's begin.
release your sorrow,
embrace your sin.
endless nights, burning desire
and eyes that glow like scarlet fire.
Embrace the darkness, reject the light.
It shall all begin with just one bite
sharp teeth and punctured skin,
your life extended into the ebony night.
Life now over eternity begins,
the blood is the life, that burns within.
Raven black, like the souls of the visitors
who come in the night.
They whisper in my ears and mind,
not loud, but just so I can hear.
A contest entry
- Intense with After Affects! (Rhyme Only! Pre-writes Allowed) by x Simply x Me x.
450 points, ended August 2, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me what you're made of!!! (extended 4 more days) by Wrozes Thorne.
300 points, ended August 14, 2007, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show me the love!!!!! *love* by Jack22.
600 points, ended May 10, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Vampire Poems! by hazeleyedfreak.
600 points, ended August 30, 2008, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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nicely written... dark indeed and very pleasant ideed darkness serves better thna light.... nicely done congrats on your trophies
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amazing!
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Wow
This is great! I love the rhyming scheme!! My favorite part was,
It has started, let's begin.
release your sorrow,
embrace your sin.
That made me grin. Love it!!!!! Thank you for entering and Good luck! -
This was a GREAT poem!... but i don't see how it tied in with my theme... sorry!
Jack -
I REALLY like this poem, good job
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I don't normally care to read a lot sad and dark stuff, but I do have a great appreciation for anything an author writes well enough to the degree of displaying some great imagery and/or emotion with their use of words and you have done just that here. It’s wonderful to see a creative mind put to use.
Well done!
♥ Touchof1der -
I felt that the rhyming was a little forced, and the flow was off just a little bit at the end. It's well-written, though, and has very nice imagery. Nicely done!
- Misfortune. -
Well written, but the rhyming was a little off near the end. I really like this poem!
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very good poem, good emotion and imagery! thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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