Siren Song

Lock me in among the coats

and empty hangers -

away from siren song

of liquor bottles.

I want to blame Emily

for the way my hands shake -

I can't sleep -

and the things just below my skin.

Oh, God -

my skin, the liquor,

god, I want someone else to blame.

But, it was me.

I killed myself in the bottom of a bottle -

drowned in a shot of gin

and all this fucking self pity.

How can I forgive her for the things she did

when I am unforgiven?

In a list

A Quick Poetry Contest IV by -BlackKnight-. 300 points, ended July 19, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

1 - 8 of 8

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
Saffron
July 19, 2007
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knitonepearlone
July 19, 2007
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I lke the 'siren song 'image especially. Great write and well deserved gold.

Congrats!
cherche -d -ame
July 19, 2007

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congratulations on a well deserved Gold....not at all what I expected re writing about a closet.
Blessed Be
reenie
-BlackKnight-
July 19, 2007

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A beautiful poem. I'm a big fan of using simple words to express a much larger message; you've always done so quite well. Below is my only real critique for this:

"Oh, God -
my skin, the liquor,
god, I want someone else to blame." -- I think this would do better with that second usage of "god." Other than that, this poem is pretty fucking good. I have nothing else to say.
purpledragonfly
July 18, 2007
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Wonderful Write !! Last lines are pure perfection!
Night Hope
July 18, 2007
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"How can I forgive her for the things she did
when I am unforgiven?"

You just do it, my Friend. You are never unforgiven. Misunderstood, perhaps. Misunderstanding, even. A raw piece with jagged edges, Scribe. Sometimes the siren song is merely a well~disguised scream. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie. Wanda
HeavenScent4U
July 18, 2007

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wow, this is different, bold and intense best of luck in the contest. be well and be blessed
Heart Sutra
July 18, 2007
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