Make me believe
that you still desire,
the pressure is so forceful
that I fall back on my knees,
wishing I never felt at all;
tell me you live for love-
I can't walk this world alone.
Author notes
emotions suck...
A contest entry
- 20 lines or less by forgotten dream.
425 points, ended July 21, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
i like the quick, short lines of this piece. you convey emotion well to the reader, and get it across in so few lines. not an easy thing to do. i really like the imagery created in the third and fourth line. nicely done. thank you for entering and best of luck in the contest <3
-
Wow!! So few words, such an impact...emotions can suck, totally suck sometimes...but then there's those times when everything is like wooot wooot, so it kinda balances out...well...hopefully it balances out, anyway Excellent write!!!
Wyatt xxx

-
Emotions sometimes suck, but temporarily. Awesome write, good luck in the contest.
♥
whisper


-
emotions do suck - at times, but what a great write they have given you here... so you put your emotions to a wonderful use
!!!
Betsy


-
Being all emotional does suck...But it makes for great poetry!
For such a short piece, I think you conveyed those pesky emotions, and those last two lines ended it well. Nicely done.

-
this was a very sad piece sis. I really love the way the words in this piece captured the emotion, it was raw.
♥

1 - 6 of 6






