the clerk's corded hands
cradled white cherries
into a brown plastic grocery bag;
he softly says he picked them once
on a farm in Canada
many years ago.
that he enjoyed their sweetness.
before I reached the exit
I had romanticized him as young
and beautiful,
hand in hand,
with a new lover.
he is buried within her
in teeming orchards
telling non-truths -
that neither one of them
would ever leave,
or simply let go.
A contest entry
- approximately 10 minutes again by Cat.
400 points, ended July 17, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Congrats.
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Excellent poem! Congratulations on the gold.
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How the heart speaks through voices and hand, soft demeanor that indicates so much more than words. This is poignant even if it is false conclusions drawn, a catalyst to take readers back into their own youth and first loves.
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very nice; I can relate to this romantic vision and I like the slightly odd syntax at the end. Congrats on another winner.
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Oh! It's time I did a tour of your poetry, Kim - this is a reminder of your wonderful voice. I love how you took his tone, so clearly conveyed to the reader, and made your story with it. Great stuff, and congrats on the gold - not a surprise.
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Now this is obviously off the top poetry
since it took you less than ten minutes
yet it so encompasses your style that
how could and
it never was ignored.
Congrats.
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This is a stunning poem, Kim - from beginning to end. You are so good at writing in this kind of poetry...loved the stories here..the real and the imagined. Wonderful poetry and deserving of the gold!
~ Nicolette
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thanks so much Nicolette. Really, the way the guy lit up when I went through the market line to buy the cherries - and when he started to chat about them from when he was younger -- it took on a life of its own. (If only it were so easy all of the time...)
thanks again!
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this is excellent
and the ending was perfect
best wishes
peace muddy
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"he is buried within her
in teeming orchards
telling non-truths -"
Sighhh...This is a gorgeous piece, Kim. Good luck in Mary's contest, Lady. Elegant penning. 
Wanda
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thanks so much Wanda... so glad to see you!
Kim...
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forgot the clappies.
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sigh.... yep, it's wonderful
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I meant to get it into the first 10 minute thing as I'd had the image stuck in my head all day since leaving the grocery store, but I was about a minute shy... the man packing my groceries was so excited to bring up conversation about those cherries that I could only imagine how vibrant his youth was...
thanks for the clappy guys...
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you are more than welcome and thanks for joining the circus.. the tent will be up for one more act...
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I'm lucky I made it through the first two... well, I was late for the first... oh hell... nevermind -- the day has finally caught up with me...
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'corded hands' - damn that is some fine imagery.
great piece kim. i am sorry i haven't been by more. -
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somewhere along the way I ran into that expression of 'corded hands'. for the life of me I can't recall who it was that brought it to my attention - but it helped me capture age without having to use "old" "aged" ... the run of the mill words.
thanks for visiting... I'm delinquent as well. very much so with far too many lately. ... sigh ...
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