We lived in a world once,
where the vastness of pre-storm cotton air
allowed the taste of thin caramel to last
a little while longer.
The charge given to our bodies
before the first strike
helped us along the bridges' edge,
never falling into blackness.
Winds, destructive and forgiving.
A baptism for summer sweat.
And the tepid rain cleaned
everything we can't reach,
I want to dig out my insides to let it seep in.
But this summer has been peaceful so far,
and the air lines the lungs with clay.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Wow, this is breathtaking, what talent lays beneath these words.... the imagery is just divine and the metaphors even more so... fabulous
Karen -
You've penned some stunning imagery here, it brings your words to life in the mind of the reader. And such incredible depth in your words. Very well written.
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What a beautiful amount of imagery and metaphors you have captured within the writes of this poem
I surely enjoyed this to the fullest - very well done!
Keep it up!
Leander
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excellent
wow this is deep, I can relate! thanks for sharing!!
great write!!
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Wow... the images you've painted within my mind with this scribe are deep and... amazing... this is interesting...
I wish you all the best *rose -
it was ment to say describe
lol
=] -
Words Can not Sescribe The Feeling
wow that was.. i cant even think of words to describe how that made me felt. it was incredible.
it gave me a picture in my head, which was also a very clear one.
well down and good luck with future writing.
=] xx
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the first stanza reminds me of pre- puberty, because there's an eye in the storm and people are about to enter the storm of hormones and fatal attractions in the storm of getting acne and weird changes.
the second stanza reminds me of a war, because of the word "charge" and our gender is the bridge between who we are and what we identify as human beings as.
"Winds, destructive and forgiving" remind me of the drama in high school and the storm of wanting to be accepted. also, there's the prom and other events.
it's all frustrating, so "i want to dig out my insides"
and summer is always nice
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great poem
i feel as if i can relate to u based on this poem, i think this poem was written well...i loved it
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