I layed my hands against the back of your wrist and stared into your soul, smirking at the indecision and camera flashes that curled my eye balls and made my hair twist into little tendrils around my aqua colored face.
And with our quiet thoughts in stickers on our foreheads we collapsed and smashed tequilla shots down our esophagus's until we couldn't breathe and had to throw up for the oxygen it provided.
And you stood on your toes and watched me flick food onto the pavement, but you would never hold my strands back for me, no matter how much they begged you to step foward. You swore and would "fuckfuckfuckfuck" away all excuses, making some small ill-mannered kid step up and pull it into a pony tail, while I vomited up last weeks lunch and fell onto the sun soaked lawn.
I was the girl your mother warned you about, the girl with the eye shadow and the high heeled boots. The girl who watched and screamed and did what she want because she was in the moment. The one who would deny the rules and pretend she was innocent while she was shoving your belongings into her purse. The girl who tasted love like fire on the tip of her tongue and then spit it out. The girl who contradicted herself in everything that she did and then lied about the after math. I was the girl you knew how to destroy.
We listened to "You Got What I Need" on repeat while summer girls would pass us by as you stared; and I would pretend that I didn't notice and cling my fingers to yours. We were tangled ropes and words stuck to the tops of mouths, tooth paste smeared on lips in early morning rushes, and forgotten car keys on the kitchen table. We were wishing and hoping and everything that came of low-cut shirts and hoodies that reeked of you.
Oh, the countless mistakes that you made (One two three..."Oh baby, did I forget your birthday again? Fuck.")
You would always fix with sweet words and presents wrapped in that crinkly stuff, what was it called again?, oh yeah, tin foil. And after I ran, you would come, tying cherries with your mouth and telling me I couldn't leave you because you could prove how good a kisser you were.
Without you I would always be nothing. I would be the residue left on the mirror after you rip off the tape and the picture. The gum on the bottom of your shoe, the fly-trap that catches in your hair and makes it sticky. The after scent a sharpie leaves after it's been closed for hours. I would be the end of the song that everyone skips, the poem that's just too long and so no one ever reads, the indescribable noise that comes out of the radio on dead air. That silence. The peak of existence where you pretend I matter and I pretend that I believe you. That nothingness. That's where I'll be. But with you; nothing is better than something.
Author notes
I wrote out my heart;
and then vomited this.
No hope in hell that I'll stop waiting; that I'll stop loving you
Comments
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I thought I'd already commented this. I've had it bookmarked forever and I keep coming back to read it. I love love love this. I can relate so much to this.
"I was the girl your mother warned you about, the girl with the eye shadow and the high heeled boots. The girl who watched and screamed and did what she want because she was in the moment. The one who would deny the rules and pretend she was innocent while she was shoving your belongings into her purse. The girl who tasted love like fire on the tip of her tongue and then spit it out. The girl who contradicted herself in everything that she did and then lied about the after math. I was the girl you knew how to destroy."
"Without you I would always be nothing. I would be the residue left on the mirror after you rip off the tape and the picture. The gum on the bottom of your shoe, the fly-trap that catches in your hair and makes it sticky. The after scent a sharpie leaves after it's been closed for hours. I would be the end of the song that everyone skips, the poem that's just too long and so no one ever reads, the indescribable noise that comes out of the radio on dead air. That silence. The peak of existence where you pretend I matter and I pretend that I believe you. That nothingness. That's where I'll be. But with you; nothing is better than something."
I think those have to be my favorite paragraphs and the ones I can relate to the most, though the whole thing is brilliant.
x
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I came back and reread this...
"I was the girl your mother warned you about, the girl with the eye shadow and the high heeled boots. The girl who watched and screamed and did what she want because she was in the moment. The one who would deny the rules and pretend she was innocent while she was shoving your belongings into her purse. The girl who tasted love like fire on the tip of her tongue and then spit it out. The girl who contradicted herself in everything that she did and then lied about the after math. I was the girl you knew how to destroy."
that whole entire paragraph jumped out at me. its so perfect. I wish I could say something like, it sounds cliche, because it describes just about every badass girl out there that boys motheres suggest against, but hun, you've got these words down to a science, and the sentence in that paragraph proves it.
Beautiful, simply beautiful.
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you are an incredible writer
no one is worth your saddness..
=]
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aw, thank you.♥
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This was amazing...defiant and full of longing all at once
"The girl who tasted love like fire on the tip of her tongue and then spit it out. The girl who contradicted herself in everything that she did and then lied about the after math. I was the girl you knew how to destroy."...proud strong, and yet, so vulnerable to him ..."We were wishing and hoping and everything that came of low-cut shirts and hoodies that reeked of you."...
I think my favorite lines out of the whole piece were: "The peak of existence where you pretend I matter and I pretend that I believe you. That nothingness. That's where I'll be. But with you; nothing is better than something." again, amazing!!
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Amazing
This was so unbelievably great. You have quite a talent. I can't even bring my thgouhts together enough to describe it. i loved it from begining to end. Especially the last stanza. "The peak of existence where you pretend I matter and I pretend that I believe you. That nothingness. That's where I'll be. But with you; nothing is better than something." That is an amazing piece of writing! i am so in love with this right now! AWESOME! SIMPLY AWESOME! Keep up the great work
Adam
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aw thank you :]]]
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wow...this is amazing.
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yayyy ty :]]]
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WOW!!!! One can feel the pain, the love just everything in this write! It is amazing!!! Keeps one rivvited to their seat!!!!
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this was gorgeous darling. it was beautiful. it was innocent, yet raw and sad. I don't know how to explain it... but it made me feel alive and dead at the same time. it was powerful in this sort of sense. I'm sorry, I can't explain it >.<
lots of love
<333333
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"And with our quiet thoughts in stickers on our foreheads we collapsed and smashed tequilla shots down our esophagus's until we couldn't breathe and had to throw up for the oxygen it provided."
" I was the girl you knew how to destroy."
"We were tangled ropes and words stuck to the tops of mouths, tooth paste smeared on lips in early morning rushes"
"I would be the residue left on the mirror after you rip off the tape and the picture."
"I would be the end of the song that everyone skips, the poem that's just too long and so no one ever reads, the indescribable noise that comes out of the radio on dead air. That silence."
"That's where I'll be. But with you; nothing is better than something."
Wow.
This was great.
I copied pretty much the entire piece here!
Haha,
I loved it.
So much.
So relatable and so creative with imagery and wonderful metaphors.
"And you stood on your toes and watched me drip onto my hair, but you would never hold it back for me, no matter how much they begged you to step foward. You swore and would "fuckfuckfuckfuck" away all excuses, making some small ill-mannered kid step up and pull my black hair into a pony tail, while I vomited up last weeks lunch and fell onto the sun soaked lawn."
That paragraph didn't sit well with me.
I don't know if it didn't fit or what. I think it was because you repeated a few words, including hair and stuff.
Maybe just reword it? The concept was nice but I don't think it was put together right.
This was stunning.
I really really loved it.
Great job! <3 -
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Aww, ty bby.♥
To tell you the truth, I wasn't too sure about that paragraph either.
I think if I re-word it, it will seem better.
I'm working on it right now. :]]
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you made me cry.
very soft long tears.
its ok though its very cleansing. to feel something when you read someone elses words; it reflects emotion like no other.
thank you for sharing hun
<3
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ily bby.♥
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