Golden thoughts in unprecious tears
I see you my love walking in fear
The light you shine to try to leave
All the corruption and lies you have told me
Black abyss for us to walk through
A flashlight in hand we walk like a crew
Trying to find a hole to seep into
One daydream lost our souls are now two
A collapse of hope to shine on by
Is it a dream or can you die?
I sit and pray that your heartbeat stops
I watch as to the ground your body drops
I shine the light in your eyes to see
If your really dead or if it's just a dream
You awake from this reverie nightmare covered in sweat
Look over and see my face asleep, smiles your death met
Author notes
hopefully I used that the right way and I hope it was worth opening up the contest for one more entry
A contest entry
- Another Chance to Test Your Poetic Fortitude by Minstrel Knight.
700 points, ended July 18, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
wow i love it its a good write.

-
Damn...
This is Quite the poem... when I first read it I thought something was wrong... and then I read the rest of it... all i gotta say is VERY NICE!!!

-
What a read this one is! You did an amazing job on this one! Best of luck to you in this contest!
-
There are no right or wrong interpretations to any title. That's why I do these kinds of contests, to see what people make of something I give them. I may see it one way, but everyone sees it in a different way. That being said this was well done. I like what you've done with the title prompt, not something I would have thought of, but that's good. There are a couple awkward places, but they don't take too much from the poem itself. Nice piece, thanks for entering and good luck. Results should be up within a few days.




