The sand still warm beneath our feet
and the tide was going out,
moonlight shone across the beach
dispersing all our doubt.
The scene was set, the time is right
for love to take a hand,
moonlight cast our shadows
as we lay upon the sand.
Tonight will last forever,
we'll make love until the dawn,
you'll be my capricious nymph
I'll be your sated fawn.
I must have fallen asleep
and thought she'd done the same,
but looking round I found her gone
and I never knew her name.
A contest entry
- We Forget Years and Remember Moments by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended October 1, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Mystery of Her (Men Only Contest) by Sedasia.
800 points, ended January 16, 2008, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Romance by Frodofan.
600 points, ended February 9, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Memorable moments by Barefoot poet.
450 points, ended September 9, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Take Me By Moonlight. by Poetryintheblood.
450 points, ended September 29, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Kiss by Moonlight and Starlight ♥ by Sunkissed xo.
1000 points, ended October 23, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sensual Peaks. by Poetryintheblood.
900 points, ended October 18, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - contest by Midnight Breeze.
700 points, ended November 14, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Nice! Thanks for entering!
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Thank you for entering your lovely words in my contest, good luck, Josie
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Beautiful penning!!
Love and blessings
Rend
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Wow. Wow. That's all that I can say really.. this poem is beautiful. It moves me, its beauty and mystery and romance is intoxicating, I love the idea of love on a beach under the moonlight, it's simply divine
the rhyme is perfect, and the whole piece has a lovely flow to it, like the waves crashing gently on a beach. the title is also wonderful, it says so much and yet does not give anything away. the ending is wonderful, it left me breathless and my eyes shining - it reminds me of the poem by John Keats, La Belle Dam Sans Merci. A wonderful, wonderful write. Thanks so much for entering, best of luck in the contest!
Love and Light
Katie
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Thank you for your most beautifully sensual entry, good luck in my contest, Josie
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Nice rhyming in this piece, and I liked the lines 'you'll be my capricious nymph
I'll be your sated fawn.'
Well done on the HM, thanks for entering and good luck!
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wow, when that happens it just plainly sucks, but great way of presenting it
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This is interesting and a little magical too. Not quite what I'd consider "romance" however, though I suppose it is bordering it. Nicely rhymed and good conclusion to finish it off.
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Very mysterious. I love the ocean reference and the mystique behind the woman. Nice work. good luck.
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Tonight will last forever,
we'll make love until the dawn,
I just feel these lines were too cliche. Try to say it with imagery instead of just telling it. For example:
This night will stretch
to the end of the universe
Okay, I know, the example is cliche as well, but it is just an example.
Thank you for entering the contest. -
sad shmad.....great ending.....those moments we remember....those of smiles ......the girl without a name is more remembered than one with xxx loved it
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very nicely written with a good flow. tis true, the ending is a little sad. Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
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Oh I liked this.
Such a sad little ending though.
Why did she have to go...
Great write thank you for entering
Delila
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cool nice flow i liked this, a lil sad though
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nicely written, It's just kind of sad that you never knew her name.
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