Albino Rainbows, flushed and colorless, pour into an empty pot
and leprechauns are waving wand-less hands through thickened air
as my demands dissolve and lucky stars are snuffed like candles
on a clouded night when incandescent bulbs are burning bright.
Four leaf clovers loose a leaf and wilt like all my wishes do
when sunshine seeps through my opaque shattered glass existence.
Author notes
Albino Rainbows
A contest entry
- Closes at 15 entries, Be Inspired By These Set of Words... by Tangled Angle.
420 points, ended July 20, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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blimey, what a great poem! superb images, well done indeed,
Alex.
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wow...albino rainbows...that is without a doubt the most original image I've ever seen...line breaks or not...this is way cool.
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Albino rainbows was the only part that wasn't mine... lol. It was the prompt.
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Yeah, this would have won something, but I'm just wondering... why didn't you break your lines?
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What-ever do you mean... They're broken.
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Not really, the line breaking is ineffective. You could have broken the lines, like you do in your usual poems, which give the poem better flow, better organization/transition of ideas, and in some cases better emphasis.
I don't know what happened here. lol -
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Yea, I know what you mean... It was a late entry. Noticed the contest late and I just got it in under the wire.
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Ohhh.. got yah. Well, this poem was fantastic.
But man.. the line breaking
Break your lines next time, and write creatively like this, you'll at least win an HM.
I'll have another contest up in a bit. I've got a load of points to use up.
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85
Wow, I like this, it was really good.
originality: 10
creativity: 9
use of devices: 10
title: 10
development: 8
rhyme/line breaks: 2
length: 10
flow: 10
Impact: 8
enjoyment: 8
Total: 85/100
PS. This may still qualify for HM.
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