Your breath has stroked hell;
(We were)
your knowledge now,
immensely moving and your
mind creating.
Turning shady into
captivating-pulling
yourself out when no one
glanced in your direction.
(barely)
Apologies never went over well;
what has happened is in the past
forgiven by your strong
and witty personality.
(breathing)
Our separate paths have now met;
and although the way was jagged-
together we will learn
how to straighten it out-
(before)
look to see how you've touched
and changed and loved,
while you expecting nothing.
(bodies)
I'm tardy; but arrived
to show you what you've shown.
(became)
Love you like you've loved.
(bound-together.)
Author notes
For the contest:
-This is for a friend of mine who I lost contact with while he was having one of the hardest times of his life; with drugs and family issues.
-You asked if we wanted a critical or subject-comment or both; and I'd like a critical comment, please
Thanks for hosting this contest, getting back into the spirit of what Pay it Forward is really all about
A contest entry
- Pay it forward - the real thing by Dienush.
1800 points, ended August 6, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Wow. Just wow. Absolutely amazing.
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Thank you
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