raped on the altar
of sin
I lay coalesced in pain
with the devil,
...I was a child, once
innocent, pure
until he fed me bitter fruit
now I'm a dying fetus,
"Oh save me Jesus!
from eternal hell
where I'm bound to dwell
for countless trespasses,"
...God heard my cry
put up a fight
from a puddle of blood
took back what was His.
*inspired by:
"In our dying embrace we coalesce in pain," quoted from "Raped On The Altar" by Dying Fetus.
A contest entry
- My Misunderstood Music: Metal by free-samples.
1000 points, ended September 3, 2007, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rape & Molestation -How Easy It Is To Ruin A Life- by Dead Star--x.
600 points, ended August 3, 2007, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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i like it but i dont know its seems like its missing something but i dont know what
...God heard my cry
put up a fight
from a puddle of blood
took back what was His.
that line seems forced and maybe thats it-give a bit more detail or a following stanza i dont know maybe its me and i dont get it because im tired.either way thanx for entering & sharing your story
Cure My Tragedy ♥ -
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my poem is lacking because I was never raped. not physically. sorry. I don't know why I entered my poem. not worthy of a trophy anyhow.
I do appreciate you holding such a contest though. It is good for people to get it all out, rather than keep it all inside.
blessings,
-Pap.
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That has some serious underlying meaning to it. The write is excellent, very powerful.
Good luck to you in the contest
Storm -
lovely piece
dude I totally randomly downloaded that song too -
Very powerful and original, definitely not the direction I would take that quote, but that's part of why I like it. Best of luck in my contest.
~Dyl -
this was quite sad and the imagery was a little too strong for my mind.
but none the less it captures a childs mind wonderfully
and the words were strong
best of luck
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sorry, a bad prompt, but yet, I could have chosen not to write it.
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i like how this poem is inspired by a song, It was great imagry and i really like the structer as well
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