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Twelve Years After You Left

Twelve Years after you left,
the sun still shines in this cursed country.
Only you are gone from the scene,
everything else is still similar.
It would be better if you would make me your companion,
in the Garden of Eden we could have our reunion.
I envy you because you die young,
and you received the eternal youth,
and you are dancing with the maiden fairies of the heaven.
While I became the wretched witness of your death.
Lonely in this wide world.

Author notes

Dedicated to my late friend Yasir.
This poem was influenced by Lawrence Binyon's "For the Fallen".

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • trekkergirl
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    just one small suggestion you might want to look at your tenses... now I am not real good at them myself but this reads like it should be past tense and you have it in present tense... because the girl had already died... and you have her die. See what I mean? Other than that everything was well in the write. Thanks for sharing this with us. And thanks for entering it into my contest.


  • Emmabug
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    Sorry to have to do this, but you should have followed the rules. I have to delete this poem from my contest. You may re-enter it ONLY if you read ALL of the rules and abide.

  • lost.and.alone
    March 14
    Edit | Reply
    Aww great write.
    So much emotion and meaning to this piece.
    Thanks for your entry. x


  • Saphina
    September 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    First off I must say that the word Tweleve is spelled wrong, it should be Twelve and the word Scence should be, I think, Scene.

    Now for the good stuff. A very beautiful and loving write. Your emotions are very prominent and really touch the heart.

    Great Job and Good Luck!

  • Samantha Amergirdol
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is a touching poem, very genuine and passionate. It's so sad to see someone die before their time. You did a wonderful job in your expression, a great write.

    Thanks for entering and good luck!

  • Leaving Today
    July 31, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Loss of a friend, the worst experience in life. This is touchy the way you want to reunite with the person.


  • Beating gold member
    July 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love this. It's so simple, yet it says so much. I too have lost a very good friend of mine, so I really relate to this. I love how you say:
    "Only you are gone from the scence,
    everything else is still similar."
    It's such a weird feeling. Everything is the same, only that person is left.

    I'm bookmarking this!


  • MeaningfulPoet482
    July 17, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful poem.

1 - 14 of 14