Laser eye surgery,
painful winces.
Cleared up insanity
delivers manifestation
of voluntary blindness.
Begging on street corners,
spending spare change.
Malfunctioned eye sight
corrupts intellegent thought;
[blind coversations]
Handicapped resources
hang from rear view mirror.
Gangrene sets in open
surgery wounds, releasing
noxious gases of poor judgement.
Conjunctivitis paints picture
across defective eyelids,
opened only to scrutinize
willing participants of
society's science experiments.
Corrution spills detestable
sludge throughout entire body,
seizing all hope for speedy recovery.
Author notes
corrupted corneas
A contest entry
- Closes at 15 entries, Be Inspired By These Set of Words... by Tangled Angle.
420 points, ended July 20, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
You have done well with your chosen prompt...Rather a
detailed description of the infection, but effective in the overall display... -
consider the comment to be the rubric, lol, but I do like this very much, very interesting.
originality: 10
creativity: 10
use of devices: 9
title: 6
development: 9
rhyme/line- breaks: 8
length: 10
flow: 9
impact: 8
enjoyment: 8
total: 87
PS. This may be able to still win HM
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