I'm stuck on this lonely road
My own road, leading to nowhere
Some place 'tween heaven 'n' hell
The only companion I've got is despair
Further down this path
The whole city seems dead
Filled with a strange foreboding
I begin to wonder what lies ahead
This road is seemingly endless
When can it ever cease?
I thought my journey was over
When I encountered death's sweet release
But my road seems to have ended
And cozy paradise awaits
Long since had I passed
Through heavens pearly gates
A contest entry
- Show Me Heaven by Jadon.
600 points, ended August 2, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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A "seemingly endless journey"!
One of my first impressions as I read was that this could be sung. I like the title and the journey you describe. A reminder that although you do not mention others except "despair" as a companion, we are all travelling together.
Your write is distinct as you describe the travel involved after experiencing "death's sweet release". "seemingly endless" the journey to reach a "cozy paradise"
I appreciate your entry and the thought you have given to this subject. Jadon
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thank you for the comment. i had actually started this thought a long time ago as a song (i play guitar, and thought it wud be my first song) but then i liked it more as a poem so a poem it stayed. im glad u like it.
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