Settling in a sea of snowy white clouds,
Nestled amongst the heights.
earth be but a dream,
of times long passed.
The sun never sets,
the moon ever risen.
floating side by side.
Time eternal, as is the soul,
the bread is the breath of life.
Author notes
erm, yeah...its crap!
A contest entry
- Show Me Heaven by Jadon.
600 points, ended August 2, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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A dream!
You must not view your effort in that way (your author's notes). As I read your poem I was involved in what you had to say. If you want to develop it further I always reread, sometimes several times before judging.
We always think of Heaven as up don't we? You began with a good setting. Secure, restful. I like the reference to earth as a dream. We remember some of our dreams. I always wondered, what I would retain.
You provide a concept which had never crossed my mind as to the position of our sources of light.
Your poem, but do not dismiss your poem so easily, give it some further thought. Thanks for your interest and sharing of your thoughts. Jadon
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