Stifled by small town life
strangled by the closeness
of all the poverty around,
I struggle to define myself
hoping to find where I belong
so I can truly be free.
Jeers echo in my head
taunting my very dream-
saying there's no hope
for a backwoods gal
to come under the spotlight
and struggle her way to the top.
I know what they're saying
and it hurts,
but to reach success
you need to have a taste of failure;
all I can do is set my jaw
and plow my way through.
Author notes
Inspired by "Breakaway" by Kelley Clarkson. I can kind of connect with this song, as many of us might. I hope eventually to become a published author. For now, I'll just work on my writing and strive for excellence.
A contest entry
- Lyrics and Poems by gentle breeze.
525 points, ended July 24, 2007, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Just say what you feel needs telling...or have one of those random whims to comment on something.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I really like this, and I could totally see the connection to the song - Breakaway is a really good song, and I too relate to it. One thing that bothered me in this was the line:
"and struggle her way to the top."
who is her? Shouldn't it be "struggle my way..."? -
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You have to look at the context of the previous lines; she was remembering what people were saying about her:
"Jeers echo in my head
taunting my very dream-
saying there's no hope
for a backwoods gal
to come under the spotlight
and struggle her way to the top."
Otherwise, the way you think would be correct. I appreciate the concern. I'm glad you liked it anyways.
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This is a very positive little poem. You've really taken the lyrics of the song and written something that echoes its sentiments. I like the structure of this poem with its run-on lines-- it makes the feelings of entrapment seem to go on and on and then you give closure to the poem by maintaining the persona's positive attitude at the end. Thanks for entering my contest. I truly appreciate it.
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Once again, a beautiful piece! Not my cup of tea, but that most definitely does not mean that it's not good. :] I'm sure your words will relate to a lot of people!
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You certainly plowed through on this one and reached the unattainable with your beautiful words. They created some wonderful imagery and you will never be a failure with the drive and determination you show here. No matter where we are from we are all human and we make a contribution in our own way. You are already doing that. Best wishes in life and in this contest with what sounds golden to me. Love and God bless you always in all ways, Joyce
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Well good luck in the contest but I doubt you will need it. Very well written and I can see this matching the music in the song. THe only advice i will give you is to improve on your spelling bc that is what is holding be back . otherwise keep it up !
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Oops! What did I misspell? I even looked over it! I'll get it...
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