What can I do, it's not like I tried
To make it known that you have lied
But hey, I guess it was just meant to be
I found you in my heart, but I'll leave you in my dreams
I guess it's true what they always said
That regret hurts the most when it's in your own hands
Hey, I guess it's true that in the end you'll find
Even your guardian angel has to fall sometimes
I take it all back, those days on the beach
I'd take it all back, but I just can't seem to reach
There's a bar right before me, it won't let me in
I can't get rid of you, my deadliest sin
I guess it's true what they always said
That regret hurts the most when it's in your own hands
Hey, I guess it's true that in the end you'll find
Even your guardian angel has to fall sometimes
Stop calling me every day when you know I'm not home
I don't care if you feel all alone
We're done, we're over, why can't you just leave
There's a hole in my heart, where you used to be
I guess it's true what they always said
That regret hurts the most when it's in your own hands
Hey, I guess it's true that in the end you'll find
Even your guardian angel has to fall like mine
A contest entry
- Rhyming Ramblings by piccola.
700 points, ended July 20, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I really like the title and the idea...I had a problem with the rhyme and it seemed a little shakey in places.
I did like the part about "there's a hole in my heart" though I know it's been used a lot...thanks for your entry. -
this is great and i'm glad i found the time finally to read it lol, this has a really great flow throughout it which is really great to see as it has helped to create the powerful imagery which you were after. and the rhyming you have used is really impressive. i like the idea that a angel can fall like you have described here i really do especially with the last line of the poem as it creates a sense that everyone is equal but also vunerable at one point in their life as their guardian angel falls and stops protecting you for a period ot time. another thing which i like about this poem is how you have tired to incorpriate the reader into the poem, this has created a really good effect and one that you should be proud of well done good luck in the contest
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