When I hear your voice,
Chills go up my spine,
My stomach goes up my throat,
I am afraid of it
When I see you,
The hardness in your eyes,
Turns my heart so cold,
I am desperate for warmth
When I'm with you,
The hypocrite you've become,
Is so dumbfounding,
I am in disbelief
When you look in my eyes,
Do you see the fear?
Do you feel the hurt?
Can you even see what you became?
When you see who I am now,
Are there any regrets?
Are there any questions?
Is there something you want to say?
When you want to talk to me,
I'll be here
When you want to see me,
Feel free to come visit
When you need me,
I'll be there
When you want to apologize,
Don't expect me to forgive quickly
Author notes
Ok.. this is the first poem I have written in a while and I'm not sure of how great this write is so if you have any suggestions that could make it better, please message me or leave a comment saying what you feel. Thanks!
Never Fall In Love
A contest entry
- Simple complexity- especially for new members! by Menace.
650 points, ended July 16, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your inner personal thoughts by x Bright Eyes x.
700 points, ended July 22, 2007, 52 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prove Yourself to Me (updated rules) by Taxing Minds.
900 points, ended July 27, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Invite Only by MagazinesFall.
300 points, ended July 28, 2007, 1 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - No Rules by J L Whalen.
550 points, ended July 31, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Whatever Goes by AshliiAsphyxiation.
300 points, ended August 25, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do you deserve this? by Never Fall in Love.
850 points, ended August 14, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The VERY best of the best! by AutumnsFlame.
768 points, ended August 7, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything && Everything (Shoot me up side the head) --all ages-- by Marilyn..
475 points, ended August 11, 2007, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Nam.
900 points, ended August 25, 2007, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Awsome that was worth a millon trophies
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damn
you definatly deserve those trophys
this is uber amazing
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i actually really liked this poem
it hit kinda close to home.. it just reminded me of a certain relationship
<3 -
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i like this person.. they dont think my poemz cliche.. or do they?
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haha noo i dont think its soo cliche..
search this site alot and you'll see the most cliche poems EVER.. trust me this isnt one of them.
im honest with giving out comments and i mean it when i say this ones goodd
<3 -
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see i knew i like this gurll.. i have good judgment
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hahaha =)
thankss!
this girll like your too -
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lmao... imma go now but imma b on laterz
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This was okay in my opinion... I found it a bit cliche... thank you for entering my contest and good luck.
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i was going to come back to this Poem.
nah im not mad at all.
im not usually good at being a critic towards other peoples work so i usually avoid doing so.
the only thing i have against this is that it seems very cliche and the message been mentioned hundreds of times before.Its a good poem. I just dont think its anything too speciul to be honest. im sure you could do a lot better. -
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thank you, thats what i want to hear.. i personally think i could do a lot better too (and i know it is nothing too special) but for some reason i havent been able to think lately so ive been entering pre writes in as much contests as possible and trying to win points to open meh own... anyways thanks for the critc its what makes me better
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intresting
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either you dont like it and just want to be nice, interesting was the only thing that came to your mind when you read this, or you just dont feel like leaving a comment with more than 1 words... take your pick (and you can even simply say d. if you have chosen all of the above... look how much freedom im leaving you!) lmao... srry if this makes u mad... just wanna kno what you think
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in some parts there are words that you could exclude without taking the message out.. i think that would help... example line 32 " don't expect me to be so quick to forgive" changed to " Don't expect me to forgive quickly".... furthermore your poetry would be better to me if you did not use.. damn was the word.... don't instead of do not... Do not expect me to be so quick to forgive sounds better than "Don't"..... any way call me sometime i'll point some more stuff out.... i liked it by the way
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sweeeeeeeeeet
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Very intereting of a write. Thanks for entering my contest.
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well doen this is a great write, good luck and thanks for entering!
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Omg lexie i love this... and i kno how u feel.. <3 Kara
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thanks.. ily boo!
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this is really good*
nice Job***
When I hear your voice,
chills go up my spine,
my stomach goes up my throat,
I am afraid of it
Love it****
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When you see who i am, are there any regrets, are there any questions, is there something you want to say..... pretty sweet lexie... the poem really does come across the feeling i get when i see dad... guess its obviously the same one you get too.. and the little thing about him being a hypocrite hes become... definately true....
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This didn't make me jump up and down with joy, but it is a very good poem. It definately got me thinking. Do not reply so you can remain annonymous.
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replying so that i cannot remain anonymous...
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