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Once Upon A Time

Come up close, don't hesitate
And I'll whisper a story to you
A story with no ending
And it has no pages too

My words take you into
A soft, sweet sublime
It's here that it starts
"Once upon a time"

There was a field
Enchanted and glowing
Where the sun comes up at midnight
And in day the stars start showing

The shadows light like fire
And the sky is never blue
I'm telling you, it's beautiful
And what I say is true

There's no such thing as gravity
And you can breathe the liquid air
There is no such thing as drowning
And there's no one in despair

When you're walking, you go backwards
On the paths and solid streams
I'd tell you how to get here
But it's only in my dreams


Author notes

July 16, 2007... This was written for a contest because I was bored... It was a fun poem to write... I live in a dream world, and I love being in places like the one in my poem.

4* Something from nothing. Give me something I have never heard of. Completely out of the ordinary. Off the wall and off the page. Stun me.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • loveyourfate
    September 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful. Great opening and ending. love the rhymes !


  • Touch of Osiris
    September 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent.

    Well.. you took fantasy to a differant level, meaning the actual fantasy of imagination, which is indeed the definition of the matter.

    Either way, excellent write, througout the poem you kept me interested, which is hard to do, I'd admit, kept me guessing what place this was untill the end, ,which ties up nicely. Great flow and imagery as well, as far as technicalities are concerned. Keep it up, I just might at you to my favorites ^.^


  • Namita silver member
    September 7, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great descriptions...Thanxx for entering. Hope you do well.

    Luv,
    Candy

  • VirginiaDarling
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I really like your dream world described in this poem seems like an amazeing place. Great job, keep it up.

  • Athena Xymaya
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WoW!
    I really liked this!
    It was amazing how you created this place with your words.
    You have an amazing tallent!!

    ~Athena Xymaya

  • child of grace
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    sounds like a pretty cool dream world to me. The poem flowed well and your rhymes were not forced (Bless you for that!). a nice piece to read!
    s
  • mcheadle
    July 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    I like going places where

    everyone else has to hunt to find a way to get there and think how I got there to begin with. mac


  • Karen Layne
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well written...you managed the rhyme scheme without sacrificing the rhythm and flow of it...the picture is vivid, andthe story is clear. Good job!

    . Rewarded 4


  • JustBreathe gold member
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very creative

    Looking at the world in reverse. Very clever! Loved your images ... and enjoyed the tour of your "dream world."

    . Rewarded 4


  • Little Blue Bird
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    So awesome

    This is really good. I love the world you created using your imagination. This sounds like something I might do. LOVE IT!

    . Rewarded 4


  • JustBeingDevine
    July 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    So cool

    I really enjoyed this poem it was funny and imaginative....very good!


  • edward81
    July 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    good

    sweet poem


  • alexandrathegreat gold member
    July 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Haha this is quite amusing, and I see what you mean by off the wall. This is a dream, hopefully come true, but lord only knows. The rhyme is sublime, imagine that how I matched you without a scratch. Great job, your work will be considered and thanks for being the first to enter.

    . Rewarded 6


  • ventus11
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i loved this poem. It was really cool how you twisted things around to make an extradany world. good luck in the contest.

  • storiesuntold gold member
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very nice

    You have penned the perfect opposite of life as we know it and it was excellent . Like a trip through a wonderland filled with new ideas and new beauty

    . Rewarded 4


  • Avansa
    July 18, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I love it.
    I had some bits of my mind complaining about tenses switching, but I got so carried away in the poem that my brain shut up ^__^
    I also live in a fantasy world, probably even more so than others. Maybe I should write a poem about mine sometime.
    Amazing write x

    . Rewarded 6


  • adarkling
    July 18, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love writing and I love dreaming and putting these two things into one is like a fantasy for me! I really should try to do it myself! This is inspirational! A fantastis piece and a pleasure to read! x x much love x x

    . Rewarded 4

  • deleteit
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    No no I want directions inside of your mind LOL. This was great! Limitless is the journey of the imagination and thank you for giving me a glimpse into yours. This was adorable, filled with delightful imagery. Best of luck in the contest

    . Rewarded 4


  • Lonewolf2008 gold member
    July 16, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    very nice

    I also live in dreams and they are beautiful and filled with caring and can become whatever you desire. you can travel far and wide, float upon clouds of fantasy and sail on endlessly through time and space. I love it, though reality is nice, as well.

    . Rewarded 6


  • Wee Beastie
    July 16, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow doesn't everyone want to live in their own little world of dreams where the stroy is how they have written and not how anyone else would write
    this story is wonderful and amazing great work upon this

    ~~~Chef W.B.

    . Rewarded 4

1 - 20 of 20